(Closed) Absolutely terrified of Dress Shopping -Plus Size

posted 3 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 16
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee

Please come back after Saturday and tell us how it went!  We’ve all been in your shoes, and I know we’re all crossing our fingers that you have a great experience and find a gorgeous dress.

One last thought – sites that buy/sell pre owned wedding dresses are a great resource to see what different styles of dress look like on bodies in different sizes.  You might want to take a look at some of them and filter by size to help get ideas of what you might like. It’s easxierf to be objective when you’re looking at a photograph of someone else.  (And remember also that many wedding dresses are sized smaller than your street size)

Post # 18
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

Hi, I just wanted to say i am a .uk bride a 16 and I was dreading wedding dress shopping. I cannot recommend David’s bridal enough. They measure you quick and tell you what size they are going to get you and they have a good few to try. Size is not an issue with them at all and there is no judgement. I actually left the place buzzing. Once yoiu have your dress you will feel a million times better. Wear proper underwear and take someone you trust completely to put you at ease. Please let us know how you get on and maybe show us pics. Good luck. 

Post # 20
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
ladeyjadey :  I live in Glasgow so I went to one close to home. Also a little pointer if you buy a wedding dress with them they give you like 15 percent discount off bridesmaid dresses and accessories so it’s worth thinking about that if you have other things to buy. 

Honestly I was blown away by how well it went. I tried on 3 dresses. The first one fit which amazed me so much I wanted to buy it. The second one was a little snug and didn’t sit right but the 3rd was honestly the one… as soon as it zipped up I knew. No feeling like it. Now tomorrow I have to take it to be altered in length which I’m dreading the bill for but that’s a different story πŸ˜‰ 

Good luck 

Post # 21
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I completely get it I didn’t sleep for weeks and totally kept putting it off my self. Call around find places that carry dresses in your size. The second place I went to put me in a bustier and it made such a difference in how I looked in dresses. If you have something like that bring it where spanx do your hair and makeup and be open to trying lots of styles! 

Post # 22
Member
254 posts
Helper bee

I feel this post so much.  I have bought a pair of Rago shapewear for my butt and legs and that made me feel a lot better because they are better than spanx by holding me in.  I also am getting a longline bra to help with support.  I meant to lose a bunch of weight and go shopping in December but then FI’s dad died and we are going back up to my hometown go visit my parents so I wanted to go when we can actually drive to places an hour away without getting stuck in a snow drift.  I’m so nervous.  I was engaged before briefly and went in a different part of the country and they made me cry in the store by saying I couldn’t wear an A line dress because I was too fat.  I’m a us 18 on my top and a 22 on my bottom so I’m terrified. But I wanted to comment about the shapewear because it makes me much more smooth and gives me a tiny waist.  

Post # 23
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018

For me, the most important thing was to realize that if a dress didn’t fit me, or looked awful on me, it wasn’t MY fault. It just wasn’t the dress for me. I get a lot of anxiety shopping in general, so I was really worried about being super critical of myself, and I’m so glad that somehow, I was able to keep it in perspective.

It helped that I had one friend who was super honest, in a nice way, so even while my mother and my super sweet friends were gushing about how much they loved a dress that even I knew looked like a sausage casing, I could make eyecontact with her and she would slowly, carefully shake her head, but not in a way that drew attention to it, haha.

I went to David’s Bridal and they only had four dresses that would fit me and each one was cheap, ripped and stained, but they’d just had a giant sample sale the week before. My sister got her dress from there and had an amazing experience. But for me, my consultant couldn’t care less about helping me out, everything looked awkward and terrible, and I just wanted to escape. I had gone to a really lovely shop before David’s, and had a great experience, so that helped me just laugh it off.

The most important thing is that when you try on the perfect dress, it will make you forget about all the unperfect ones you tried before. I’m not talking about that magical, Say Yes To The Dress moment, where everybody cries or whatever. I just mean that once you find the style that suits you best, that works best with your body, it will be an entirely different ballgame. It won’t matter what size you are, it will look beautiful. Wedding dress designers are doing a much better job these days of creating dresses that work with all sorts of bodies. 

Just don’t take it as a personal failing if it takes a few tries to find something that works for you. It isn’t your fault. It’s not because there’s anything wrong with your body. It’s just because you haven’t found what works for it yet.

Post # 26
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee

I was wondering how  it went; I’m so sorry to hear it wasn’t that great of an experience.  I think it can be really hard for some people to visualize what a dress might look like in the correct size, and it sounds like your mum is one of them.  (I actually went dress shopping alone because I knew having friends or family would frustrate me. Especially since some of my relatives buy into the whole “if you’re bigger than a size 10, you should wear a tent” mentality.)

I wonder if you might be able to find something with a similar silhouette in a size you could try on?  Even if it’s not a wedding dress but maybe an evening dress?  

Hugs, it sounds like it was a very stressful experience.

Post # 27
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

View original reply
ladeyjadey :  keep looking around and calling stores to find places that have your size. The first store I went had pretty dresses but they all felt like plus size dresses most had the corset back and I was so frustrated when I left. The second place had so many pretty dresses I did not feel like I was in a plus size store they put you in a bustier and it made a huge difference in how I looked in the dresses. So look online call around I did some Instagram searches and messaged places. Don’t give up call the stores you went to and ask when they get new dresses in. Focus on features you like lace sparkle tulle etc you. 

Post # 28
Member
4932 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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ladeyjadey :  I take it you are a UK bride. I’m an Aussie but I purchased a dress by the UK label veromia in their plus size line sonsie! All their dresses where beautiful and had a lot of built in structure so much so that this plus size lady was able to not wear a bra with her dress and no spanx were needed either! That was the first and last time in my adult life that that I’ve gone braless in public and shapewear is always a must for me in dresses! Check out stockists of the Sonsie wedding dress brand and shop there.

Also echoing what a PP said. I spent a lot of my life holding back from living my life and timidly trying to experience stuff because of my weight. It was always a barrier for only me. Nobody else gave a rats that about my butt or if my tummy wobbled! It took a lot of work on my part but when I stopped worrying about my weight everything fell into place because ironically the only thing holding me back in life was my self doubt and concern over weight! My perception was the thing holding me back not the numbers on the scale…

Never apologize for being you and never seek permission from others as to how lovable and worthy you are and start learning love and accept yourself how you are. Weight is only a number and has no bearing on what you can achieve in your life or who you are as a person. 

Edited to add: I got married in the heat of the Aussie summer and my dress had structure but it was still surprisingly cool and I’m saying that as a  super sweaty Betty. 😊 A dress with built in structure is still cooler than having to slip yourself into tiny sausage skins that pretend to be shapewear! Don’t dismiss a dress with structure because you will still most likely have to wear something and spanx are no fun in hot weather I’d much prefer a bit of strategic boning in a dress than to have to wear hot restrictive shapewear right against my skin.

Post # 30
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

View original reply
ladeyjadey :  I’m the same way big boobs and I carry my weight in my stomach. I actually ended up liking ball gowns not the big poofy kind but they start at your natural waist. It maid me feel thinner. Try on some more dresses have someone take pictures try to figure out what shape looks good on you. You may like a more fitted one with more of a design on it like lace or the big flower lace. 

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