Post # 1
I have been putting off dress shopping for almost a year and now im down to the wire with only 8 months to go. I am extremely uncomfortable with my body as I have gained almost 100lbs over the last few years. I found a dress shop that looked like it had the style of dresses that I liked and sucked it up to make an appointment 2 days from now. It didnt really occur to me at the time but now I am imagining so many situations in my head that are giving me major anxiety. What if I get there and they look at me like im crazy because ill never fit into anything they have? What if they dont have any dresses that I can even try on? What if I break down from complete embarrassment?
Has this anxiety happened to anyone else? Has anyone ever experienced getting to a shop and having nothing to try on? I just dont even know what I would do.
Post # 2
I read this article recently and thought it was really great! Hopefully you will have an unexpectedly good experience like this bride. https://apracticalwedding.com/plus-size-wedding-gown-shopping/
Post # 3
I was SO scared to go dress shopping! I had all these crazy situations in my head and was in a panic about going, but I knew I had to. I gathered 2 of my closest friends + my mum, and hired the store out one evening.
When my consultant asked what I liked I told her what I thought I was looking at, but I said I’m nervous and I am willing to try anything. They pulled SO many dresses for me, and it ended up being one of my absolute favourite parts of wedding planning! These ladies dress all kinds of bodies and styles, they know what works and what doesn’t. The dresses are all stunning and it is so much fun putting them all on and having a play.
Take a big deep breath, and go and have fun! You might surprise yourself. Use the next two days to see everything that rocks about your body, see your beauty, and be kind!
Post # 4
Don’t be terrified. Dress shopping should feel awesome and magical. You may not feel absolutely perfect in each gown, and that’s ok. I found my dream gown and it was like 10 sizes too small when I tried it on, you just have to have imagination. I am overweight and not happy where I am now. I know my best self and it’s not me right now. But you have to forge forward. Make it a point to get down to work in the next 8 months but trust me when I say if you don’t go now, you may not even be able to get your dream gown.
Look online and find your dream gowns. Have an idea. Don’t go in willy-nilly trying on every single style. You may be discouraged by some, and thats ok, but to avoid that, know your body type and the things that may conceal your biggest qualms.
Also PLEASE remember wedding dress samples are waaaaayyyyyy smalller than real life sizes, don’t even look at the tag. I had to order a 24 and I am really a 16.
What made you gain the weight? Try to address that in the months to come. Hold your chin up and be happy. This is a wonderful time and I know even if you wore a plastic bag your husband would think you’re gorgeous. Find something you want to spin around in, that makes you grin from ear to ear.
Post # 5
Thanks so much for your reply! I know I will have to try on dresses that are too small, thats unvoidable I guess. I think I will be ok with having to try and imagine it in my size but if I get to the shop and they tell me all I can do is hold dresses up to me (which I’ve heard has happened to people) I dont know if I will be able to keep it together. Its encouraging to hear that you were able to try on a dress 10 sizes too small and were still able to at least imagine what it would look like.
Post # 6
you should call the shop before you even go and tell them what styles you’re interested in and ask them if they have them in stock at least close to your size. Ask them what sizes they carry in general as well. It’s an easy way to ease the stress and not waste your time. For one of my bridesmaids to try on dresses we had to go to a specific store that carries size 16 and up as well as other siZes. Other stores didn’t why I had no idea, i couldn’t believe it but i was so glad I called and asked around before we went bc no one needs to feel like shit when they’re shopping
Post # 7
Honey, I am not sure your ‘street size’ but if it’s anywhere near mine of 16/smaller than that you won’t have to just hold up a gown to your figure. And if some shop makes you do so, I say, walk away. Any dress shop, no matter their sample sizes, should do what they can to put you in the dress for a better feel.
I went to a shop where I found my gown and they were all little bitty blonde model types and while I kept apologizing for being plus size, they were so sweet and told me “you know what, it doesn’t matter, we want you in the gown you love, and we will clamp you and work with you however we need to.”
Do dress shop research. Find one, talk to them and tell them you’re predicament. If they aren’t responsive or willing, write ’em off. Brides come in al sizes and shapes. Of course in that shop I tried on all ball gowns with a full waist, I could never squeeze into a form fitting gown nor would I have been comfortable.
Don’t ever be ashamed of how you look. Have confidence, draw it from what elements make you feel pretty. Another tip – go with some nice makeup on and a decent hairstyle. You’ll feel 10x more confident. If I can do it, you sure as hell can. I can’t wait to see your picks! But don’t wait; as I mentioned, it takes times to order gowns, so if you want your dream gown go now. 🙂
Post # 8
I had awful anxiety about dress shopping, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. Every store is different in the variety of sizes they have to try on, but you can totally call ahead and find out. A lot of stores do carry mostly around a size 10 sample to try on, however they can clip it to your bra so you can get an idea of how it fits if it is too bag/small. I also went to a store that carried a variety of sample size dresses, from like a 2-28. They are harder to find, but there are also some stores who specialize in plus size dresses and have a ton to try on. The place I ended up buying from was a place that carried samples in a variety sizes, but even when I was trying on dresses that had to be clipped, I still felt pretty in them.
Post # 9
I was scared to go dress shopping too. I’ve put on around 30lbs in the last 3 years and 50lbs overall from where I feel really good about myself so I feel ya. But I went, and I’m so glad I did because I had 2 fabulous experiences and was able to try on loads of dresses. It also really depends on the style too for whether or not you can try it on too small. I couldn’t get any size 14 dresses over my butt if they were fitted at all, but ballgowns were no problem. You can also kind of “dive” into the dresses if you have larger hips but a smaller chest so it’s easier to get on. I’m a bridal 16 right now and there were LOADS of dresses my size and up in both shops I went to. Definitely call ahead to make sure they carry larger samples for wherever you are going. I believe the largest size I saw on the rack was a 22 or 24. Not sure what size range you are but I bet you’ll find something you love. Go for it!
Post # 10
UPDATE: I followed through with the appointment and just as I thought…. They didn’t have a single dress I could try on. I had to simply stand behind the curtains looking in the mirror holding dresses up in front of me while the other brides were walking around the store twirling for their friends and family. The consultant really wanted me to buy one of the dresses but I don’t know if I can spend that much money on a dress I didn’t even get to try on.
I’m down to the wire on finding a dress and after this experience I have no interesting in going dress shopping again.
Post # 11
I don’t know if this will help you, but since I’m engaged I have watched so many episodes of Say Yes to Dress UK, US, Australia, etc and I have seen how they have fitted brides that look very big in dresses that they wouldn’t even dream of getting in and they looked absolutely stunning!
I understand you because I also have issues about my body and I was anxious about not looking nice in wedding dresses. I’m a size 10 and I don’t really have an issue about my weight but I was worried about the imperfections of my body like stretch marks or cellulite showing and yet when I went for my first wedding dress shopping appointment I felt great. Seeing yourself in a wedding dress makes you feel amazing!
My advice is that you should keep in mind that bridal shops have a wide range of sizes and styles to suit most people and also bridal shop consultants are used to seeing everything and they don’t really have time to judge anyone, in fact they want to find you the best dress they can so they can make a sell!
Good luck and enjoy the experience and always remember that you are beautiful no matter what!
Post # 12
I’m not sure if you’re a bride in the USA or not, but I must say that David’s Bridal was AWESOME about having all kinds of sizes of dresses in their shops. I know it’s not a fancy boutique, but that was part of what I loved about the shopping experience there. As a smaller-sized bride, all of the dresses I tried on had to be majorly clipped because the samples are made to fit women of all sizes. Don’t stress! But if you put it off any longer, you may be stressed even more, haha. Good luck!
Post # 13
I’m a plus size lady and I was legit dreading dress shopping for all the reasons you mentioned. I decided to start at David’s Bridal and I’m so glad I did. Not only did they have a dresses that fit but they had corsets and slips too. If you can get to one, even if you have to drive, I think it’s totally worth it. I actually had a hard time narrowing it down because I felt so good in those dresses and was completely not expecting it. Other options to look at depending on your formality are Kiyonna and ModCloth. You can get them delivered right to your house so you don’t even have to deal with a dress shop. That was my next step if I hadn’t found something at David’s. And then there’s a plus size specific bridal store I found about 2 hours away I was planning on checking out. It sucks that it’s so hard for us but you will find something you love. You’re just gonna have to work harder for it unfortunately. If none of these are options just start calling bridal shops and asking them what size samples they have in store. Keep calling till you find somewhere that has a decent number of dresses you can actually try. If you don’t feel like you can do it, recruit a bridesmaid or your mom or someone you trust. Good luck Bee!!
Post # 14
Have you considered getting it custom made through something like Anomalie? I am thinking of using them personally just because I can’t find what I want.
You could go to something like David’s Bridal to take photos of ideas. They promise something like 3 months turnaround and a full refund if you don’t like it.