(Closed) Acceptable to just tell guest how it is?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

I would definitely explain about the cut-off, the need to pay for plates, etc.  But, at the same time, you can’t count on all the guests who HAVE RSVPed coming — no-shows just happen sometimes, and that’s one of the frustrating things about weddings!

Post # 4
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

She probably just doesn’t know. Let her know what kinds of deadlines and headcounts you have in front of you.

I’m absolutely embarassed to share that my now-husband once had to reply to a bride via text because he never sent back our reply card, even though we had hotel & airfare booked. He just assumed she knew we were coming. So you have it, true — some people don’t see the difference between a wedding and a houseparty.

Post # 5
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Yeah, I agree with the pp, I’d just be upfront about it–she doesn’t know, and she probably won’t take offense, she’s just inexperienced about stuff like this.

Post # 7
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree, I’d be up front about it.

Post # 8
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

be direct; yuo dont want to lose money its hard enough paying for everything


good luck!

Post # 9
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

Yes, I would just share in a polite and friendly way that you need to know the headcount sooner than that in order to tell the caterer how many meals to provide.

Post # 10
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with all the pps, she may not know about all the wedding stuff, just explain it to her, that’s the best thing you can do for both of you.

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