- 10 years ago
So here’s a post-wedding question. My husband and I recently got married. While my husband and I were dating, there were a few times that his parents helped him out financially. He didn’t make a lot of money and they were relatively well off, so I wasn’t so surprised when they paid for dinners or even when they paid for new plumbing for his house. In my family things are a little bit different. I have a good career and disposable income, so when I can I treat my parents – it could be a really nice dinner, a weekend away, etc. For our wedding, both sets of parents offered to help, each gave us about the same amount of money, and we paid for the rest. So I felt good about that. Now that we’re married and sharing our finances, I find it odd that his parents still pay for things for us, and that he still readily accepts it. I know it’s generous and I should happily accept it, but I can’t help but feel patronized. I’ve been financially independent since college, and my parents and I have reached a sort of equality. With his parents, I still feel like we’re the little kids. It goes beyond finances too, in that my husband regularly looks to his mother for advice and other assistance. We recently found out we’d be moving, and the first thing he said was that he’d have his mom come out to help pack. She lives halfway across the county. So my question is should I disturb this umbilical cord between parents and son or learn to accept it?