Acciddental HIV exposure, need lots of hugs please

posted 6 months ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry, Bee. I completely understand the anxiety. I’ve been waiting a month for test results with only a 1.7% chance of a bad outcome and I have been climbing the walls! Even when your rational brain knows that your risk is low, it’s hard to keep from going down that worst case scenario road in your mind. I don’t have any advice. I’m just sorry you’re having to deal with this agony. Please get back on here in six weeks and tell us how you’re celebrating your good news.

Post # 18
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

keikochan :  I sent you a private message, as someone who also works in the field of medicine. I hope it helps.  Very exciting that you will be presenting your research, soon!

Post # 19
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I domt have any great advice because I know that, if I was in your position, I’d be a wreck and nothing anyone could say would help (yay anxiety). For me, prayer helps a bit (the act of closing my eyes and mindfully listing off what I’m struggling with helps my brain close in on the problems and handle them in a semi-constructive way), but since you’re not religious, maybe some quiet meditation-type stuff? Sitting calmly with your eyes closed, focusing on your breathing, maybe trying to just FEEL positive, even if it’s only for a moment? I do the eyes closed breathing when I’m most anxious and sometimes it helps. Even just closed eyes and one nice deep slow breath in and out. Won’t help you not worry about the results, but might help give you at least a moment of calm in what is otherwise understandably a very nerve-wracking time.

I don’t have a cat, but I hope this silly picture of my cory “cat”fish named Siggi will do instead! 

Post # 20
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

I’m so sorry! I’ve been in your shoes. Due to someone’s negligence I was poked with an uncapped used needle at the dental office I worked at in 2011. I did all the things you did, followed protocol to the letter…it was still terrifying. I completely understand why you feel the way you’re feeling. Fortunately I didn’t contract anything (patient the needle was used for was a previous drug user) and I’m sure you will be just as lucky. In the meantime, I’m sorry and am sending you a virtual hug because I’ve been there. 

Post # 21
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2020 - Round Rock, TX

keikochan :  oh bee I am so sorry that happened to you. and you feeling nervous and anxious is totally understandable. but, your odds of getting it is SUPER low. so try (easier said than done) not to worry. and even if you do get it, it’s not a death sentence. there is great treatments out there that make having HIV manageable. plenty of people have it and live happy, healthy lives. and you can still have kids! but like I said, your odds are so low that I am sure you will be just fine!

try to focus on that amazing research presentation because that is something to be excited for and proud of!! just stay busy and occupied. sending you lots of good vibes!

also, I don’t have a cat but here is my baby! 

Post # 24
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Honestly, it’s your own choice to give up on all your dreams of family if you turn out to be positive, and it’s really not necessary.

Nothing goes perfectly in life. Your future children will be at risk of all sorts of diseases no matter what.

(Incidentally, the NIH says the chance of mother-to-child transmission is actually less than 1% in the USA and Europe: https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/understanding-hiv-aids/fact-sheets/20/50/preventing-mother-to-child-transmission-of-hiv).

This particular scare will almost certainly be behind you soon. But there will be others. Tests during pregnancy may turn up all sorts of scary things. There’s always a chance that something will go wrong. But you can’t let yourself be paralyzed by every risk. You just have to live your life even in the knowledge that things won’t be perfect.

Post # 25
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

What happened to you is horrible and terrifying. I’m sorry. I work in healthcare too and I always wear bandaids over the tiniest broken skin because I’m scared to be exposed to something.

One of the other nurses told me you need to be exposed to a lot to contract HIV? I hope that is true, at least with saliva. 

I hope you’re okay and that everything works out for you. Hugs!

Post # 27
Member
334 posts
Helper bee

Please don’t jump onto conclusions. Your chances of NOT getting it are much higher. There isn’t much you get do right now so as difficult as it is, the best thing you can do is take it one day at a time. Don’t panic and please don’t play scenarios in your head because you’ll just make yourself more anxious. Take a deep breath. Keep yourself busy for the next few weeks: see friends, family, do something you enjoy. It’s the best you can do right now.

Post # 28
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve been exposed as have several people I work with. None of us contracted HIV.  I didnt have the anxiety about it that you are experiencing, the odds were so slim I just wasn’t concerned.  Now, if they didnt have the medication to take immediately after exposure I would have been very worried.  I know easier said then done but try not to stress.  6 weeks of worrying is going to destroy your mental health and does nothing to help your situation. Good luck and praying for negative results for you.       As for your SO not kissing you. I’m not going to respond because they would not be kind words.  

Post # 29
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Maui, Hawaii

I’m so sorry you are going through this, my anxiety would be through the roof too. A few months ago I was waiting on some health results and couldn’t get it off my mind. I started reading the Harry Potter series and it really helped me to escape into that world and keep my mind off the waiting. If there’s a book you’ve been meaning to read it might be worth a shot!

Here’s a silly picture of my kitty to cheer you up, too!

Post # 30
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

He won’t even kiss you on the lips? That’s frustrating that he’s not supporting you through this. It sounds like he needs some education about the disease—and some soul searching.

 

i’m sorry This happened to you. I can’t imagine the stress. I had a colleague go through this with a needle stick (she ended up fine). She was so stressed during the time she had to wait!! 

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