(Closed) Accidentally opened bridal shower gifts, and now I feel guilty :(

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
739 posts
Busy bee

I don’t see how this was accidental?  Why is it more okay to open wedding gifts early but not shower gifts?

Post # 3
2497 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Why don’t you just take them to BB&B yourself and re-wrap them since it was your mistake to open them. 

Post # 4
2230 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

View original reply
missjoy0819 :  It was a misunderstanding. They sound like nice ladies. Just explain what happened and tell them how much you appreciate their generosity. 

That being said, I agree that typically, one doesn’t open gifts prior to the wedding. You don’t need to open them to find a place to stash them. 

Post # 5
9389 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
missjoy0819 :  you received mail and opened….nothing wrong with that!  Did they expect you to bring the wrapped gifts to your own shower and open them there? If so that’s ridiculous and they should have brought the gifts to the shower themselves.  

Post # 6
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
missjoy0819 :  

First there are so many things wrong.

1. Auntie G and Gma shouldn’t have sent the gifts to your house if they wanted them to be brought to the shower.
2. You shouldn’t be opening your gifts up prior to the shower or wedding.
3. You should apologize to both Auntie G and Gma for opening the gifts and then re-wrap them and bring them to ths shower. I’m not saying they were right in sending them to you, but you shouldn’t have opened them either.

ETA: I’m reading the responses below, and apparently it’s fine to open gifts prior to the wedding.  Sorry, I was always under the impression you don’t open them prior in case the wedding is called off so that the gifts can be sent back.  Sorry I was misinformed.

Post # 7
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t get why its a big deal. If she shipped it to your house, were you supposed to keep it wrapped and bring it to your shower to open there? 

Post # 8
9633 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if they wanted you to open them at the shower, they should have sent them to themselves or another address, not your.

i don’t think you should feel gulty that you opened them.

however, i probably wouldn’t have opened anything until after my shower.  i would assume that anything arriving around that time was a shower gift.

Post # 9
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Everything I’ve read (including Emily Post) says you’re supposed to open the gifts as you get them so you can send thank you cards, so the sender knows you’ve received the gift. I think it was an honest mistake and they should have specified that they were shower gifts. If it’s that big of a deal, rewrap them and take them to the shower to open. Don’t feel bad, it obviously wasn’t intentional on your part!

Post # 11
47414 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have done nothing wrong. It is in fact proper to open gifts as they arrive, wedding gifts included, so that they can be promptly acknowledged with a thank you  note.

Shower gifts are normally brought to the shower, especially when the giver is attending the shower. You had no way of knowing which was a shower gift and which were wedding gifts.

Post # 12
4890 posts
Honey bee

The way you did it is proper.  It should be opened immediately to ensure no damage and and thank you card goes out immediately to ensure the giver it was received.  You just don’t use them until after the wedding.

If they wanted the gifts to be brought to and opened at the shower  they should have called you in advance to tell you that was the intent or shipped it to themselves and brought it with them to the shower because their expectation that you would automatically bring it to the shower unopened is not the norm at all.

Post # 13
9385 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

i have no idea how in the world anyone expected you to know not to open this and bring the gift to your own party to open it there?  Especially knowing you’re meanwhile opening wedding gifts to write thank you cards.  Are you a mind reader?  

just wrap it back up–even the one you threw out a box, just put it in a plain box and wrap it like that.  *shrug*  NBD.  If they cared so much they should’ve tried to communicate.

FWIW, while not a great quality–many people like to shift the blame for their own lack of communication.  If FMIL/Auntie do this, shrug it off.. you can’t control other people’s flaws.

Post # 14
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

you were right! gifts should be opened and thanked as you receive them. I had alot of gifts sent prior to the shower from people either by mistake or who didn’t wanna lug big items into the party. They were thanked right away. I obviously didn’t use them prior but everything sent to me was opened and put away. You are totally good don’t stress!

Post # 15
1039 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
teamroro :  Noooooo.  You definitely open wedding gifts before the wedding so you can send thank you notes in a timely manner.  If not, gift givers will left wondering if BBB/ Macy’s/ etc actually ever sent the gift they ordered months ago. 

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