- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
So I’m a little upset with myself at the moment. This Saturday, Boyfriend or Best Friend was off work so we enjoyed an absolutely perfect day together. Due to his work schedule, it’s rare for him to get a full day off from work on the weekends. So when that happens, I really try to cherish that time with him. It’s so amazing to get to spend the whole day with him 🙂
Anyway, the first thing we did was go to our local grocery store just to get a few things and we ended up wandering into the home decor section. We started discussing moving in together and how we would decorate, what kind of plates we would buy for our kitchen, etc.
This led to him suggesting that we go to Bed Bath and Beyond and just walk around the store and picking out stuff for our apartment next year. But we didn’t buy anything, of course. Basically, we just went window-shopping lol. He knows I love Bed Bath and Beyond. It is basically a candy store for grown women! 🙂
Well, we happened to walk by the wedding registry desk in the store. Seeing it made me even happier because I knew that would be us one day. So I made a happy remark about how fun it would be to go shopping for our registry some day.
Boyfriend or Best Friend just laughed and changed the subject.
Later that night, we were talking. And I asked him if it bothered him that I made little remarks like that from time to time.
He said no, not at all. (Btw, I should have stopped the conversation here…)
Then I asked him if I should stop making those kind of remarks. He became quiet for a second. Then he said, “Yeah, why not? Sure.”
I was taken aback at this. I was expecting him to say no. So I asked him if he ever felt pressured by those remarks.
He hesitated…then said, “A little bit. But it’s okay, I know you’re just saying that stuff because you’re excited. It doesn’t really bother me. It’s part of your personality, you want everything NOW.”
Sigh. It’s true, what he said. I am an impatient person in general. It’s hard to not be.
Anyway, I got upset. I tried to hide it but he could tell. He made me talk to him and tell him what was wrong.
So I said, “I hate that I’ve been pressuring you, I honestly didn’t mean to! I’m just excited about our future. I don’t ever want you to feel forced or pressured to marry me.”
And Boyfriend or Best Friend was so sweet…he said to me, “No, I don’t feel pressured! I WANT to marry you. When I said that earlier, I just meant feeling a little pressured to propose ASAP. But it’s okay, I know you’re just excited. I love you!”
So I do feel a bit better but still…it worries me that I made him feel pressured, even for a little bit.
But I’ve never gotten angry at him for not proposing. We’ve NEVER fought about him proposing or us getting engaged.
I mean, we’ve only been dating for a year so of course I wouldn’t get angry. I know some waiting bees get angry because it’s been a long time. But no, I’ve never felt that anger or that awful impatience, like you think you absolutely can’t stand it another second longer.
All I’ve done is made little comments about how excited I am for us to get married someday or about our future together. And when I make those comments, I’m always happy and feeling loved. So those comments always come from a good place.
I just had no idea those happy comments made him feel a little pressured to propose ASAP! I NEVER meant it that way! I wasn’t even thinking “Oh, maybe if I say this, it will make him propose faster!”
No. I just make those comments because I am genuinely so happy and excited about our future together. And now I have to stop saying that? I have to keep it to myself? 🙁
Sigh. Does anyone have any advice? Like advice on how to feel better about this or how to make myself shut up? :/