(Closed) Acquaintance asking for shower/maybe ceremony invite

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sunflower22:  “I am so sorry, but we are unable to extend an invitation. We know that you will understand .”

Post # 3
482 posts
Helper bee

I really think you can go either way here. Were you close with this Mom when you were friends with her daughter? Maybe she just wants to buy you a gift because she likes weddings and wants to celebrate with you. It sounds like she has indicated she isn’t expecting an invite to the wedding.

To put it in perspective, a few years ago when one of my best friends got married a lot of the ladies from our church wanted to give her shower gifts. She was a young bride and not having the wedding in the church or inviting more than family and close friends, but they still wanted to celebrate with her. We ended up hosting a seperate shower in the church parlour room just with these women. I think there were maybe 20 in attendance and only one had an invite to the wedding. They brought lovely gifts and had a great time.

My Mom has bought gifts for my friends who are getting married without any expectations to be invited. Perhaps it is just a generational thing?

Post # 4
8007 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How big is your wedding? You can just say it’s going to be a small wedding to get off the hook.

Post # 5
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

sunflower22:  Honestly– if this was someone whom you didn’t like- I’d say tell them you’re simply not able to extend an invite.  But if it’s just this one person, and you’d rather not come off looking like a b*tch, just extend ONE invite, no guest- to her.  

I had to suck up a couple people who invited themselves to our wedding last minute…..and I feel like in the end, it was right thing to do to keep the peace.

Post # 6
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

MrsEME:  +1.

Same with me. My mom and Mother-In-Law invited people to the shower that weren’t invited to the wedding… now I have to ask an extra 12 people… ugh. Anyways, I would invite her to keep the peace.

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