(Closed) Acquaintances and SO invite requests–what should I do?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MissMetro: It would not be fair really to allow some to bring SO’s and other’s not. Just let them know you are at your budget maximum and you can not extend personal guests to them.

Hopefully they will understand.

Post # 4
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

When is your RSVP deadline?
I would just tell everyone that your parents are paying/small venue, and that if you have extra seats due to cancellations, you will let them know. First come/first served on the waiting list, as it were. You don’t have to tell them who is absolutely first, right, or who else is on the list.

Post # 5
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

For us, once the list is done, it’s done. I’d hate to have to change it around, especially at the last minute! But more importantly, someone said here a great way to handle these things is to tell people “Because of the size of the wedding, we weren’t able to invite many of our close friends and family, so we really need to stick to the guest list that our families established”

Or something along those lines…basically saying you have people near and dear to you that you weren’t able to invite, which allows people to understand how silly they would be for expecting a relative stranger to be invited to your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If your wedding is around 200 people I don’t think you can pull the small venue card without offending them. Were all of the plus ones allowed so far part of an established relationship? If so you could explain that your budget only allows for plus ones who are in a serious relationship (worded more tactfully than I have it of course). If there are other guests who are bringing new gfs or bfs then it would be rude to deny every single person a plus one.

Post # 7
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@MissMetro: 200 people is a lot. And inviting “not very close acquaintances” to your wedding opens the door to these kind of invite questions.  Personally, 99% of the time I think guests should be invited with a guest. Especially if the guest wont know very many people at the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

Adding on to my post–for the most part, I am having NO plus ones that I don’t have a close relationship with. All of my single friends should have a BLAST at the wedding because 1)it’s a wedding 2)open bar? 3)MORE single people. So why should I invite an escort to a guest that I want at my wedding, and NOT have one person, or a couple, that I’m close to but couldn’t fit onto the guest list for whatever reason?

I just see those random +1s taking the spots of people I *DO* want to be there. I do have one friend who won’t really know ANYONE, and for her I’m concerned about the no plus1, but even she understood. I’d be upset to think that a random person was there instead of one of my intended guests.

Post # 10
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MissMetro: Sorry if my comment came off in a really negative way! In this case I guess honesty is certainly the best policy. If you have already been explaining that your guest list is maxed out due to your large families then I would just stick to that. I would just make sure you stress the large family bit. I think seeing the other 200 guests at the wedding without any explanation other than just “the venue is too small” would be something that would rub me the wrong way. Knowing that you have a large family would make all the difference for me and I’m sure your guests will understand. Just be firm and stick to your reasoning.

Post # 12
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011 - Brock House Restaurant, Vancouver

Our policy for +1s was if they were engaged, living together or had been dating for as long as Mr. G and I had, then +1s were invited.  If you don’t want your guest list to get out of hand for budget reasons then I think it is fair to say no, particularly if they haven’t been dating for very long.

Post # 14
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011 - Brock House Restaurant, Vancouver

@MissMetro: In that case I would say you are justified in saying no to a +1 if that is what you want to do.

Post # 15
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Save yourself a headache and just say no to ALL the +1 requests. Just keep it simple and tell everyone the same thing — that your parents are paying and you can’t add to the guest list. 

 

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