(Closed) Add me to the family drama list

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry you’re going through this… your dad seems to be taking everything pretty personally.  Regardless, it’s your and your FI’s wedding!  It’s really not uncommon for people to have male “men of honor” or “best women.”  Maybe he just doesn’t realize that?   Getting married is a huge change/step for parents sometimes too, he could be having a hard time dealing with it all. I hope he comes around and you guys can work things out.

Post # 4
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My father was the same way. If I wanted anything that he considered different, he wanted to argue with me about it. I ended up caving on some issues that I felt strongly about. My parents threatened not to come if I didn’t let my dad walk me down the aisle, even though I explained my point of view in a mature manner and that it had nothing to do with him personally.

If you still want to hold to your ideas, all you can do is try to convince him that it’s not as different as he thinks and see if he’ll come around. I hope things get better for you.

Post # 5
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I know what you are going through…well kinda. My mom will say “oh no you do it this way” or “you have to do this” and then she stops.  I am doing a lot of things a little different…or at least taking a lot of the traditional aspects of a wedding/reception and throwing it out the window. My wedding dress is tea length. I am taking all photos prior to the wedding (so my Fiance will see me before the actual wedding). I am not having a wedding cake…replacing it with cupcakes and caramel apples. I am not having a unity candle (or any other things like that, sand etc.) and I am not doing a bouquet or garter toss.

I think that your dad will come around. Can you talk to him about it? This is your wedding and it should reflect you and your Fiance, not your parents. =) Good luck!!

Post # 6
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I think he will come around.  Sometimes we are on weddingbee so much, and we forget that the regular world is still thinking in the traditional wedding way.  For example, I’ve seen countless cupcake towers on here, and even began to think it was an outdated thing (even though I want one!!).  But every single person that I tell “we’re not having a cake, we’re having a cupcake tower” is like “WOW! I’ve never heard of THAT before!!” and they either think it’s a great idea or think I’m nuts…. So just do what you want to do. It’s your wedding!!!

Post # 7
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this drama.  We’re lucky in that since we’re paying for pretty much everything ourselves we have total control.  If either of our parents were paying, or even contributing a significant amount, I could understand how much more difficult it is.  

I would say give your dad some time to come around.  Sometimes it’s hard for us on weddingbee (or any wedding forum for that matter) to understand when others find our ‘non-traditional’ ideas to be outrageous.  Here, we share so many ideas on how to make our weddings unique be it, tea-length wedding gowns or forgoing cake for a cupcake or pie bar.  To the rest of the world, who isn’t on here, they see weddings as the traditional, bride in white with a white shoes and a veil, get married in a church, have a reception where you choose from chicken or beef (or veg) and wedding cake. That’s your typical run of the mill traditional wedding..even Hollywood pretty much portrays it that way in the movies!

Trust me…when I showed my mother my navy satin shoes that I’m wearing, her jaw dropped…GASP! I won’t be in ALL WHITE?! lol

Post # 8
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I shut all the drama out from the very beginning and im so thankful its all out of my way now and im having a stressfree wedding planning experience! My sister, friend, brother and mother tried to cause drama and sadness for me but you just know that you have to deal with it and try to stay away from those kind of people as much as you can, this experience only comes once in a lifetime so make it good for yourself

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