(Closed) Adding a new bridesmaid 4 weeks before the wedding

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not add someone now. I think that would just create more drama. I don’t know if there is a way to fix this, some people are just not very social or good at making friends with other peope. At the last few weddings I’ve attended either the BMs or the bride’s friends all acted this way.

Post # 5
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What about talking to your Future Sister-In-Law rather than throwing away a relationship over a party? Especially since this person is family.

I can see both sides of this arguement- you felt your BM’s were rude to your other friends and your BM’s probably felt like you were treating them like children and telling them who they should play with!

 

Post # 7
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@islandfling:  I would try again and maybe start with an apology (for the sake of it) or even send her a heartfelt note and flowers or something. Because it is your Future Sister-In-Law I would go the extra mile because of the extra drama it will create well past the wedding. At the end of the day you can say that you tried everything even if she still brushes you off. I would send/give the flowers/note in front of family or friends so that it is a lot harder for her to ignore with witnesses.

I am not saying you ever have to be friends with her again but at least try to get a civil relationship going.

I would keep her in the wedding but if she wants to step down then I would accept it but not replace her. Damage control is important here and if you replace her it will just make you look bad in front of the family thus making people more likely to think you are in the wrong etc.

 

Post # 9
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@islandfling:  Hormones! that explains a lot but doesn’t excuse her!

She may just need sometime to get over it which might take longer than usual due to hormones!

Only you can know how the new bridesmaid will take being asked so late in the game. If you think she wont mind then you can maybe ask her. But you could also just share stuff with this friend without being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She can be your go to/support person/friend. let her know how much her friendship means to you etc and that you want to have her there with you. 4 weeks is not much time to organise a dress etc unless it is off the rack but it is definately do able if that is what you want.

I don’t necessarily think asking someone late is a major issue but it is if you are using them as a replacement. But you aren’t so I think it just depends on how you think the friend will take it. Some people might be offended! I wouldn’t mention your other Bridesmaid or Best Man troubles so that she doesn’t tget the worng impression about why you asked her.

Good luck and remember that you will have a beautiful wedding 🙂 

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