(Closed) Adding Last Minute Guests

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It depends on the people, really. If they’re laid back, they’ll understand, but if they’re sticklers for tradition, they might get offended.

Fiance and I got a last minute invite to a wedding last summer.

It seriously went like this:

Groom’s Bridesmaid or Best Man (also a friend) calls Fiance and says “Hey, Groom’s Bachelor party is on this day”

Fiance informs him that we weren’t invited to the wedding (didn’t even know about it).

Bridesmaid or Best Man calls Groom, Groom says we were supposed to be invited but they forgot.

Bridesmaid or Best Man calls back and tells us when/where the wedding is.

*end scene*

Seriously. We got a telephone invite… via the best man.

We’re really laid back, so we didn’t care- I kind of assume that the bride and her family was controlling the guest list, so we were probably forgotten b/c we hadn’t met the bride. It’s not the end of the world, and we came and had a fun time.

But if your friends aren’t laid back like us, then it might not go over very well.

Post # 4
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t think twice about it, but I agree it depending on who it is, some people might be offended. If you now have the room and would like them there, I’d invite them. I’d probably give them a call too, just as a head’s up that the invite is coming so they can respond fairly quickly.

Post # 5
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh, and if you’re really worried about it, you might be a little covert about it and call them up and ask why they haven’t sent their RSVPs. When they say they never got the invite, blame it on the postal service and tell them you’ll send them a new one right away 😀

Post # 6
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

If you send the invitations now, it will be fine. You still have abot 4 weeks until your wedding. Especially if they are friends and would be understanding of the whole situation.

Post # 7
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Fiance just invited one of his friends a week ago, and he was ok with it, but his friend is a very nice laid back type of guy.

Post # 8
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We got an invitation about a week before the due date. I knew we were on the B list, but it was still nice to be invited. But we couldn’t go, because of funds (it was an out of state wedding). They might notice, but hopefully they’ll understand. Or you can lie and say “Whoops! We forgot!”

Post # 9
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

It is rude. It really appears that you are only inviting them for their gift.

You yourself said it, they aren’t super close friends, just people you see from time to time.

I personally, would prefer to not be invited rather then be B listed. Others on here disagree. But etiquette says B lists are impolite.

Post # 10
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I sent out a couple “b list” invites…but I didn’t send them because I was getting too many ‘no’ rsvps…I just decided after I sent the first batch of invites out that I actually wanted more people there. If you send them right away, no one will notice.

Post # 11
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

When did you send out your first batch of invites?   I think that if it was 2 weeks ago (or around that), I would just pop a few more in the mail and not say a word.    But, if they are good friends, you could tell them that a family member couldn’t make it, and now there is more room for your friends.   I would totally understand that, if someone called me before dropping the invite in the mail.

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