(Closed) Adding to the guest list. Does this happen to everyone??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wait, who is telling you to add someone?  Why do they get a say?

Post # 4
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Who exactly is "everybody"?  The only people who should be adding to your guest list are you, your parents and your future in-laws. 

My parents added some people in the week or two before we sent them out but the real hassle was getting addresses!!

Post # 5
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

That didn’t happen to us.  When our Save-The-Date Cards were being sent, we compiled from both sets of parents complete guest lists.

Post # 6
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m not who "everyone" is but if its not you, your Fiance or either set of parents I am not sure why they should have an opinion on who is invited. After all my invites were made up I remembered an old family friend who I haven’t seen in years that I thought I should invite but that’s about all. The only other people I’d invite would be B list.

Post # 7
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I’m surprised that people are adding to your guest list.  Are these your parents who are saying this? 

We got feedback from our parents on our guest list before invitations were sent out, but once we locked that list in, we didn’t make any changes.  My Mother-In-Law did give us a couple of comments ("it’s too bad we couldn’t invite the So-and-So family) but we didn’t add a single person to the list after invitations went out.  We didn’t even "B-list" anyone, because we figured that we were inviting the particular people, not the number to the wedding and if they couldn’t make it, then that’s more space/money we’d save.

Post # 8
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

ughhh yes we got last minute adds from both my mom and Future Mother-In-Law. We had a couple people that got taken off the list too though… But today we just got 1 more addition (2 weeks after I mailed invites) and I am getting annoyed! No more!

Post # 9
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This happened to us too but I am thankful because we completely forgot about the 3 people that should have been invited in the first place. It wasn’t that we intentionally left them off the original list, they just didn’t come to mind.

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We kept getting people who would call my Mother-In-Law to see if it was ok to bring more people. She started saying yes at first until we told her she couldn’t do that. Then she had to call us and ask us, then we had to say yes or no, depending on the situation. All kids were a definite no. We also had some people call and rsvp and just say "there will be X of us" and I’d be all "why are these rsvp’ing for 5 when the invitation was for 2?" which was a pain.

Post # 11
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think we ourselves may add a few people depending on the number of no’s we get since we sent ours out fairly early I think we can do this without hurting anyone’s feelings.  However, pps are right, only you, your parents or your future inlaws should be adding at this point!

Post # 12
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

This absolutely happened to me.  (I say "me" as opposed to "us" because my husband was one of the guilty parties who kept adding people to the list after the invites were sent!)  I think he added half a dozen friends (and their dates) to the guest list at such late notice that they were invited to the wedding through phone calls (no physical invitations).

My father actually invited another couple the day before the wedding!  At that point, I’d already done the seating chart and made place cards, so through gritted teeth I smiled and said, "OK, Dad.  If you invited them, it’s your job to find them at the reception and help them find somewhere to sit…Otherwise they will be wandering aimlessly with no where to sit and YOU will look like a very poor host."

We had many more people RSVP "no" than we expected, so I think my husband, in-laws, and dad viewed those as open seats that they could fill with extra invites.  It definitely wasn’t an ideal situation, but we managed to get through it…with a little extra work on my part to track all those random extra guests!

Post # 13
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i gave my Future Mother-In-Law her invites and when I was gettin RSVPs back she said By The Way this person is coming but can’t send their RSVP and when I asked why she said its cuz she ran out of invites to give…..

Post # 14
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We keep getting adds from Future Mother-In-Law and from his co-workers who drop hints and "strongly suggest" that certain people get invited.  People are so rude.  I actually had a screaming match with Future Mother-In-Law because she is inviting more poeple than Fiance and I COMBINED!  And no not paying.  She invited them with the premise "Oh, theyre courtesy invites, they wont come!" but as the RSVPs keep a-flowin in, theyve all ben yes so far.  Im ready to strangle her

Post # 15
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I am in the same boat with you KellyV, my Future Mother-In-Law has invited more people then almost everyone combined

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