Adding Two Bridesmaids Close to the Wedding Date

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Do the sides REALLY have to match? 

Post # 3
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

The sides don’t have to match.

Also, call a spade a spade. They are B-listed bridesmaids and would be entitled to take umbrage at the fact that you had no intention of including them until your fiance wanted to have two more groomsman. 

Post # 4
Member
9808 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Let him have the two guys and keep your side as is. Why add more work for yourself (and cost) when you don’t have to? Its not just paying for the dresses, they will nee bouquets too, you have to rearrange your head table (if you are having the bridal party sit together) and probably several other things i’m forgetting.

Also, i’d know I was b-list at this point and probably just decline.

Post # 6
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

The B list invite is the worst. It’s also selfish (imo) to deny your Fiance having friends with him because the sides wont be even. I do not think you should invite 2 people on your side ‘because even sides’, but I think cutting his friends out is also rude.

Post # 7
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

cassiegirl :  I understand you’d prefer the sides to match but they don’t have to (I actually prefer when they don’t match, I don’t like how it looks when everything matches). The criteria for your bridesmaids should be “are they your closest people?” and shouldn’t be about the sides matching. 

Post # 8
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

cassiegirl :  Hire two professional models to fill in for your side. That way you fulfill the actual purpose of a bridal party (honoring people who have supported you and your relationship) while maintaining exact symmetry. Everybody wins and your friends don’t have to be understudy props. 

In all seriousness though I think it’s crappy to prioritize…what? the arrangement of 20 minutes of standing and some photos? over honoring your friends. It’s your choice but I don’t think it’s a particularly smart or caring way to go.

Post # 9
Member
2487 posts
Buzzing bee

I say it really depends on the nature of your friendship. You know the girls you’ll be asking- if you think they’ll be hurt and you value the friendships, don’t.

If you think they’d understand that you’d originally wanted to ask them and your guy goofed up, tell them that and tell them also that their friendship is the most important thing to you and that they’ll be special to you whatever they decide.

I wouldn’t mind being a late to the party attendant, and if you give them the choice, you may luck out.

Post # 11
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

You wouldn’t be adding them unless you needed the sides to match, so no, I wouldn’t ask them… it’s kind of insulting 🙁

Post # 12
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

Eh, I say don’t ask them. Also, what the heck took your fiance so long to decide!? If you must have sides matching then it’s his fault they can’t be in it. 

My sister chose her bridal party, one girl found out she was pregnant and backed out, so my sister asked me like a month or so later. I didn’t want to do it, because obviously you don’t “want” me in your wedding party (she had seven people on her side and included my other two siblings) and I also always prefer to be a guest. I still did it but because I felt like I had no option. 

Post # 14
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I’d make Fiance decide what to do. “Honey, I’m not going to add two people to my side this late. It would be rude to my friends to do so. If you want to add two people that is completely fine, but we will have uneven sides. It’s up to you to decide what is more important to you – additional friends standing up with you or matching sides.”

Post # 15
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You pretty much want symmetry over potentially insulting a good friend. I would leave them as is.

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