Post # 1
If my parents are paying for our wedding, and the invitation is worded such that they are the hosts, should the RSVPs be sent to their address? Or could they be sent to us? I can’t remember ever paying attention to this before, but suppose I assumed the RSVP went to the couple getting married. However, now that I think about it, it seems the RSVP should go to the people throwing the party. What is proper etiquette?
Thank you in advance!
Post # 3
I"m not Miss Etiquette … but I think that you are right – it should be going to your parents. If you can trust them with keeping track then I think it will be best to have the RSVPs sent to them. Maybe you could create a prepared box (from a shoe box?) with a side for "yes" and a side for "no" … that way when you see them you can go through and double check.
Post # 4
My parents are hosting and the RSVP’s are going to their house, the gifts will be sent there as well. I plan on just having them call me and let me know who said yes or no whenever they get them in the mail and then picking up the RSVP cards every so often.
Post # 5
Ask your parents! I would love to get RSVPs in the mail as a bride. If it’s a huge guest list they might not even want to deal with it.
Post # 6
I think you are right, but see if your parents want to deal with that. Both of our parents are contributing and everything is coming from and returning to us. I don’t have the patience to have my parents deal with them and let me know. We also don’t live in the same state as them.
Post # 7
I’m doing it the *formal* way– since my parents are "requesting the honor of their presence" by sending the invitation and throwing the wedding, I am having all of the RSVPs go to my parents. My mom said she would keep all of the replies and I could come get them each week and open them, but I think I’ll just let her open them! There’s so much for me to be excited about throughout this whole process, so this is a good fun thing for my parents (my mom in particular).
Post # 8
My husband and I lived together, out of state while planning our Indiana wedding so the RSVPs came to me at our address even though my parents were hosting. I never even thought twice about having them sent to my parents’ house and gifts were sent to us as well. However, if you are that worried about it I’d ask your parents! They might not want the responsbility and you might want to get the rsvps! I did, we left room for people to write a note and I really enjoyed reading them.
Post # 9
Talk to your parents on this one. I had intedned on addressing them to us so we did the counting and tallying etc. I said that to my mom and she flipped her lid! She’s hosting, its her thing, the RSVPs should go to her. She would have ratherd I did the counting and the work, but she thought people would be confused about who’s hosting and shes uber concerned with what Emily Post would say. My advice – talk to her cause you just never know.
Post # 10
My parents are paying for 90%, though to be gracious we included both his and my parents names on the invitation. However, I have handled basically all the planning and my parents are 700 miles away from me, and from the wedding. My mom thought it made sense for the RSVPs to go to her but she let me put my address on instead. I’m kind of anal retentive (about my own wedding? Noooo…) so I wanted to be in control of it, but also, she invited so many of her out of town friends and extended family that we had to leave off some of our local friends… and once enough "no’s" come in… we get to invite more of our friends! Ask your parents – I was shocked at how laid back mine were on certain etiquette details.
Post # 11
My parents are paying for most of the wedding and getting the RSVPs. I just have a guest list manager on the knot, gave my mom the password and she updates it as she gets RSVPs. She is also keeping them all just to double check the final head count.
Post # 12
I had them sent to my parents’ house since we were in the process of moving. Otherwise, we would have had them sent to our place.
Post # 13
They are being sent to my parents but since we only live 6 miles away they are instructed not to open any of them…I’ll just pick them up a couple times a week and open them with my FH.
Post # 14
The traditional etiquette says that if your parents are hosting, the RSVPs go to their house. That’s what we did — I was a little disappointed because I was looking forward to getting all the fun mail, but like mdarrah’s mom, my mom felt strongly that we needed to do it the "proper" way. Since they are paying an arm and a leg for all this, I guess my parents really just wanted it to be clear who exactly is hosting the event!
Post # 15
I am having the RSVPs being sent to my parents since our landlord is selling the house we are in we didn’t want to take a chance on us moving before the RSVPs come rolling in.
Post # 16
- Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel
I think the "proper" etiquette is to have the RSVP’s sent to your parents’ house, since they are hosting. However, if you would rather have the fun of receiving the RSVPs, I’m sure many people wouldn’t even notice if you had it sent to your address (unless they are planning weddings themselves)