(Closed) Address stds including +1s?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
23597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mrscali13:  This is up to you! People who include +1s on their RSVP have a very strict guest headcount and want to avoid their guests writing in more +1s than should be at the wedding.  So yes, in a way, it’s kind of a double perk to have the +1 – Guests know how many people to plan their trip for, and you’ll know how many people you’ve invited.  Hope this helps!

Post # 4
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I didn’t put +1’s on my STD’s. I didn’t see much of a reason to since who they plan on bringing to the wedding could change over a period of time. I only plan on putting +1’s on the actual invitations since that’s when the RSVP’s will be coming in.

Post # 5
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mrscali13:  Technically, it’s not correct etiquette-wise.  You are suppose to find out if your guest wants to bring a date and then send that person a invitation or save the date. I find that horribly unpractical though!


That being said, I definitely wrote “and Guest” on our Save the Dates envelopes to our guests who could bring a plus one.  I find it makes planning a lot easier – you know you can split a hotel room with someone, etc.

Post # 6
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here (lol, comes with my career)

Save The Dates are NOT Invites… so the Rules of Etiquette don’t necessarily have to apply so strictly.

Save-The-Date Cards are a courtesy heads-up

Technically the same could be done with a simple note or email… BUT Save-The-Date Cards have taken off in the Wedding Stationery biz because they are so dang cute… and the Destination Wedding Biz is now HUGE

So… to answer your Questions

1- You are NOT REQUIRED to send them.  If money is tight you can skip them entirely (save Printing Costs & Postage)

2- As a NOTIFICATION you can send them out addressed however you please.

Mr & Mrs John Black (couple)

The Black Family (whole family at that address)

Peter Jones & Sue Brown (Married Different Names, Engaged, Living Together… or even just dating but you want Peter to know that Sue is definitely invited)

or Peter Jones & Guest (Peter is your buddy… and you want him to know he can plan on bringing a date)

The latter comes in handy, if Peter lives out of town, and will be travelling a distance to your Wedding… so therefore you’ve allowed for him to bring a Guest

Hope this helps,


Post # 7
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

A lot of my guests are local, so I did not include +1. We do have one guest who would have to fly for our wedding, so for him I did include +1 on his STD. I figured it was most practical and helpful for him, that way he knew right off the bat he could bring his girlfriend and he’d be looking at 2 airfares to attend our wedding

Post # 8
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had a ton of Out of Town guests and we included “and guest” on the Save-The-Date Cards for those getting a +1.  It is helpful for planning purposes.

Post # 9
257 posts
Helper bee

I was totally planning to include “& Guest” on my Save-The-Date Cards, but when I was addressing them and wrote it out, I thought it looked funny so left it off. BUT, I do have RSVP on my wedding website, so when people go there to search for themselves, they will see “& Guest” in their household. This probably doesn’t help you, but that’s what I did!

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