Addressing holiday cards for modern families

posted 9 months ago in Holidays
Post # 31
Member
2485 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

iliketurtles82 :  That means she chose to go by Ms. Mrs. isn’t defined by keeping or changing your last name it’s defined as a married woman from what I’ve researched. But if that’s someone’s preference then they can choose one or the other. 

Post # 32
Member
2485 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

llevinso :  Same girl, same. Who knew?

Post # 33
Member
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

A woman who uses or reverts to her maiden name goes by Ms. 

http://emilypost.com/advice/the-mrs-question/

I realize this contradicts the advice to go by the person’s own preference, but historically Mrs. means “wife of” so it makes no sense. Mrs. Jane Doe has become acceptable for a married woman, but the Mrs. still implies her husband has the same last name. 

Post # 35
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

When addressing envelopes, I just write the first name of the person I am closest to and “and family.” For example, Sarah & Family.  Sometimes it’s a female, sometimes it’s male. I just choose the person I am closest too and call it good. And I only address their last name if I normally call them by their last name. If anyone is upset about it, I expect them to talk to me about it and I would explain how I went about it. But I assume the people in my life wouldn’t care about the name on the envelope because who really has time to care about something so small that it gets torn up to be open and thrown in the recycle/trash seconds after it’s received? 

Post # 37
Member
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

newbee73 :  It’s not “regional” it’s misinformation or ignorance. Just because a lot of people you know do something doesn’t make it proper. 

It’s also never advisable to omit the last name on something you are sending through the US mail. A lot of times we get mail sent to the wrong address. A last name can help redirect it. 

I don’t even care for “and Family” personally but Jane “and Family” is lazy and rude if there is a SO also living there. It should really not be too much trouble to make the effort to name someone’s SO, fiancé or spouse. 

When in doubt, just shoot them a line to ask what names they are using and their preferred form of address as a couple. It takes all of a few minutes. 

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