Post # 1
Here’s one question I haven’t been able to find an answer to despite hours of searching: If a woman is married and keeps her maiden name, is it more appropriate to address her as Mrs. or Ms.? I know "Ms." can address either a single or married woman, but it seems that a married woman might prefer Mrs. even if she kept her name.
Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones
Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones
Also, has anyone addressed invitations to Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Jones instead of Mr. and Mrs. John Jones? I feel like it’s a bit antiquated to call someone Mrs. John Jones, but I don’t know if I like the alternative of spelling out both of their first names.
Post # 5
I have a friend who is married and kept her maiden name. I address her envelopes as:
Mr. Scott Thompson and Mrs. Lisa Lewis.
Does that help?
Post # 6
i have a few friends that have kept their maiden names. i got so many different opinions on what to address them so i ended up just calling each of them and personally asking them what they’d prefer. i HIGHLY suggest you do that cause some people actually get REALLY offended if you mess up what to address them!
Post # 7
Thanks all. I think I’ll go with "Ms." unless I think the particular person could be sensitive about the issue in which case I’ll ask them directly. Most of my friends and relatives have a pretty thick skin. Anyone have any thoughts on addressing people as "Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName and HerFirstName Jones" instead of "Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName Jones"?
Post # 8
I addressed all of my invites with both spouses first names, whether the last name was the same (usually) or was different. Personally, I don’t really like getting mail where I am referred to as Mrs. HisFirstName OurLastName. But it can be a generational thing (my mom hates it, my grandma prefers it, i’m somewhere in the middle), so you may want to check with a few key family members to see if anyone has a strong preference.
Post # 9
This is a big issue with my future mother in law! She insists that women who kept their last name or are doctors when their husbands are not are "Mrs.". She also wants to be referred to as "Mrs. John Jones" instead of "Mrs. Jenny Jones". It is old-school. The modern Peggy Post states this:
married couple, woman kept maiden name:
Ms. Sarah Jane Smith and Mr. Michael Joseph Miller (out envelope)
Ms. Smith and Mr. Miller (inner envelope)
Also, if you are a medical doctor you spell out "Doctor". If you have a Ph.d. it is "Dr." My friend is a Ph.d. and kept her name so her invite would be:
Dr. Sarah Jane Smith and Mr. Michael Joseph Miller (outer envelope)
Dr. Smith and Mr. Miller (inner)
*If she was a medical doctor, it would be Doctor Sarah Jane Smith and Mr. Michael Joseph MIller