(Closed) Addressing Invitations

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What is the correct way to address in this situation?
    Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith : (14 votes)
    54 %
    Mr. Joseph Smith and Mrs. Mary Jones Smith : (8 votes)
    31 %
    Something else, see below : (4 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    960 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @ajillity81:  Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith

    She changed her name but technically made her maiden name her middle name, not her last name.

    Post # 4
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    After looking online on various pages the etiquette showed: 

    Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Mary Smith

    Post # 5
    11419 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009


    +1. This is the correct format. However, if you know that Mary prefers not to be addressed in this manner, another option would be to address the envelope to “Ms. Mary Jones Smith and Mr. Joseph Smith” (with the names on two lines, the woman’s name first, and with the word “and” in front of the man’s name to show that the couple is married.) Mary would not properly be referred to as “Mrs.” unless it is with her husband’s first name, as “Mrs.” means “wife of” and she cannot be the wife of herself.


    Post # 6
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    This is one of the ones i referred to from web site called The Knot where I am using their budgeter, checklist, guest list etc…

    To a Married Couple

    On the outer envelope:

    Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Holt


    Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Holt

    On the inner envelope:

    Mr. and Mrs. Holt


    John and Samantha

    Post # 7
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    She didn’t hyphenate, so “technically” Jones is her middle name, not her last.

    In which case the most correct “traditional etiquette” address format should be:

    Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith

    for the inside envelope your options are

    Mr. and Mrs. Smith


    If you are close and lifelong friends … Mary & Joseph


    If you are related… Aunt Mary & Uncle Joe

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 8
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @Brielle: is correct.

    If you get into adding the Wife’s first name, then the proper form of address has to be Ms. and not Mrs.

    So another option, “modern etiquette” would be:

    Ms. Mary Jones Smith

    and Mr. Joseph Smith

    Altho, I have to say I am not a fan, because it looks awkward on two lines (takes more room… don’t forget on the Outer Envelope you are also meant to spell out the Addresses with no abbreviations) and not as friendly free-flowing as when it all is on one line (as a couple)

    Which is why whenever I can, I opt for the traditional on the outside, and then do the more friendly first names on the Inner Envelope

    The latter as a way to smooth over any delicate feelings hopefully, and show that we are all really “just friends”

    Personally, if someone gets their panties in a knot about it (I am NOT Mrs. Joseph Smith… I am Mary Smith) well quite frankly I think the problem is more theirs than mine, because they didn’t understand the basic Etiquette thing to begin with.  Married change your name, then you are Mr. & Mrs. Joseph Smith

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 9
    2023 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Mr and Mrs. Husbands Name.  That is how I am doing all of my addresses. 

    The topic ‘Addressing Invitations’ is closed to new replies.

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