(Closed) Addressing invitations ettiquette

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

This is how I did it. I apologize if I broke any etiquette rules.

Families: The Smith Family or Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family

Married Couples: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Singles: Miss Jane Doe

No one on my invite list got a +1 except for one person who is living with her SO. I did that one like this: Miss Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith. 

My mother did the calligraphy on all of our invitations and I don’t remember if she put everyone’s first names, like Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith. I read online that using first names depends on the formality of the event, etc. Whatever about that. I think if they had a long name she cut out firsts, and if they had a short name she used it. 

Post # 6
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I did Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe.

For families I did the same but added ‘and family’ unless the children who were living with them were high school age or older.  Then it looked like this:

Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe, Mr. Jim Doe, Miss Julie Doe

I don’t know if that last one is 100% traditionally accurrate, but we’re pretty casual so people were probably just impressed with all the Mr’s and Mrs’!

Post # 7
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@accorn:  That definitely works too. Also, if the entire family was invited we wrote Family, but if, let’s say, only one kid was invited because she’s friends with my sister we did (using the format you like better):

Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith

Miss Sally Smith. 

It’s hard to see with the posting format but we put the daughter’s name right under the parents. I’ve also received wedding invitations to my parents’ house as a teenager that had my name under theirs. We actually invited a cousin that sort of lives with my grandmother on her invitation and we put her name with her husband and then my cousin’s name right underneath hers. 

Post # 8
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

What we are doing:


Mr. and Mrs. Young
Joseph, Samuel, Peter, and Luke

Married Couples: Mr. and Mrs.  Smith

Unmarried Couples (regardless of how they live):

Mr. Kevin Smith
Ms. Michelle Jones

Singles: Miss Jane Doe

Post # 9
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Here’s a nice chart that will help you out with traditional envelope etiquette: http://www.somewhereintimecalligraphy.com/envelope-addressing-etiquette.html


But it also depends on how formal your event is. Mine was quite informal, so we addressed our envelopes like this: 

FAMILIES: Ann, John, Elizabeth, and Joshua Smith (I believed in listing everyone by name so that it was clear who was invited and who wasn’t, but you could also do “The Smith Family”)

MARRIED COUPLES: Ann and John Smith OR Ann Miller and John Smith (the first being used for couples with a shared last name; the second being used for couples with different last name or for unmarried couples who were living together or longtime couples)

SINGLES: Ms/Mr/Dr Ann Smith (we didn’t do plus-ones, but if you wanted to, you can just add “and Guest”. I think I included the titles only for singles because I just didn’t want to deal with it for couples and families 😀 


Post # 10
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

How formal is your wedding? That makes all the difference.

Post # 11
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I will be doing mine like “John and Jane Smith” or “The Smith Family”. I really don’t care what etiquette says about that, works for me! If I’m inviting these people, I’m obviously on a first name basis with them 😉

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