(Closed) Addressing Invitations Question! Yes, another one! :)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How to address?
    The So and So Family and Guest's Name : (4 votes)
    24 %
    Separate Invitation to anyone over 18 : (8 votes)
    47 %
    The So and So Family and a Separate Invite to Cousin bringing SO : (5 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Hmmm… how much over 18 are we talking about?  Are we talking about 18-20 years old… in that case I’d say just send it to the family.  But if we are talking post-college age, then I’d say you need to do separate invites.  Of course, this is not proper etiquette… etiquette does say send separate invitations… but I agree with the excess statement.  Do you think your cousins will care if they get their own invitation or not?  If I was 25 and living at home I might care… if I was 18 or 19, probably not.  But, if you do separate invitations, do it for all over 18… if you don’t then I’d say send SO a separate invitation.




    Post # 4
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would probably do:

    Mr and Mrs Jones

    Jim Jones and Sally Smith

    Jane Jones

    1123 Fake street

    Cityname, PA 12345


    I had a similar situation and ended up sending two invites, one to my uncle and two younger cousins (both in college) and one to my older cousin (out of college) and his girlfriend (at my uncles address).

    If it were a younger cousin with the long term girlfriend, I’d probably just have put them all on one.


    ETA: just saw it was 4 cousins. If the cousin with the SO is the oldest, just send him his own, if its in the middle, I think I’d do:

    Mr and Mrs Jones

    John, Sarah, Ruth and Jim Jones

    Sally Smith


    Mr and Mrs Jones

    John, Sarah and Ruth Jones

    Jim Jones and Sally Smith

    It probably depends how old they are and what the living at home situation is like: college or younger, I’d stick them with the parents. If they’re 30 and living in a garage apartment, maybe give them their own. Also, I feel like guys care less about invites than girls, so that might factor in.

    Post # 5
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

    I might even just put the “family” and then call them and tell them the SO is invited.  To families, we mostly listed:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

    James and Jamie Smith

    And if there was a SO invited I might have added a third line with the child and their SO listed together:

    Jim Smith and Samantha NotSmith

    Post # 7
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

    I don’t think you need the “Mr.” or “Ms.” but that’s just me!

    Post # 8
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’d say send one to the parents and individual ones to the kids (+guests for BOTH kids).

    OR if you don’t care about etiquette you could address the outer envelop to the family and put three RSVPs in – one for the parents, one for the person w/out a date, and one for person with a date (of course this will cost more to send than your other ones).

    Post # 10
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would go by the gift rule. If they’re old/responsible/flush enough that you think they’ll bring you a separate gift then I would give them a separate invite. If you think they’ll slap their name on their parents’ gift, I would put their name as a group. Hope that helps!

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