- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
I would put Mr and Mrs, but if youre having a very casual wedding I guess you dont need to. For the friends with significant others they dont live with, I sent one to the friend and put her bf’s name on the outer envelope as well. I would send it to the person you know best and put both names on it, plus it will save you the cost of extra invites!
I used Mr. and Mrs., but kind of hated doing it.
As far as boyfriends/girlfriends that don’t live with the invited guest, we put the invited guest on the outer envelope (i.e., "Ms. Jane Doe") and on the inner envelope, put "Jane and Jack." If they lived with the person, we put each person on a separate line on the outer envelope, then their first names on the inner.
If your friend was to break up with her boyfriend, would you still want him to attend independent of her? If so, I would give him his own invite (just not "and guest.")
It really depends on how formal and who its going to. Would I send it that way to married friends? Maybe. Would I send that to my mother’s friends – HELL NO!
Along this topic, how should you address married couples where the wife has kept her maiden name?
Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Doe?
Here I’ve read you have to include the names of all the children in the family invited. What about the fact that one couple is expecting so there is no way I can find out the baby’s name in time! http://www.verseit.com/VerseIt_AddressingEnvelopes.cfm
My invites are not traditional, there is no mention of our parents names as my fiance and I are
1) older and mixed backgrounds
2) paying for the entire event ourselves
3) are just not the ‘formal’ types 😉
So I don’t want the adressing to be overly formal yet the invites to be fairly casual.
It is ok to do it either way! I personally *hate* the Mr. and Mrs. thing because I feel that not mentioning the wife’s name makes it sound like she is personal property or something.
I put Jack and Jill Hill on every invite and nobody blinked an eye. Really, when was the last time you noticed how something was addressed to you? No one notices and no one will say anything unless you have a really traditional/fancy family. I actually only notice things when they are addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." becaue I did NOT take my husbands name, so it’s very weird.
I hate the Mr. and Mrs. John Doe thing too! I can’t seem to find anywhere that says it’s okay to say Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe, which is what I’d like to say. Of course, I could just say screw tradition completely and might. But I can’t imagine writing just “John and Jane Doe” unless the couple was under the age of 40. I would never call these people “John Smith” so I can’t imagine leaving off the ‘Mr.’
My personal opinion – the envelope gets tossed in the trash – if someone doesn’t like how you addressed their name – well – then thats their problem – its just an envelope – doesnt imply how you feel about them.
As for the living with the significant other – for example – my brother doesnt live with his Girlfriend – but I invited him and used her name b/c I knew she is obviously his date.
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