(Closed) Addressing Invites-help

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh, thats tough.  Are the kids old enough that you could send them their own invitations? 

Post # 3
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

I would say:

John Doe & Jane Smith

along with their family

def wouldn’t use parentheses
 

don’t know if thats right, but it looks good to me

Post # 5
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

@abbie017:  oooh good point! 

 

Also, you said formal – is there an inside envelope? If so, out side should say john doe and jane smith, inside should say john doe and jane smith and each kid listed by name (if they are young, like under 16, i think just first names are apprpriate on an inside envelope)

I would google “invitation addressing etiquette, there’s tons of info out there…. plus, I bet Martha would know! 😉

 

 

Post # 6
Member
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

In the case of the Daniel v. Dan; you address as Daniel.  Wedding invitations are more formal than a regular invitation.

Post # 9
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@abbie017:  Hahaha I’ve had this backfire! My name is Katie and it isn’t short for anything (Katie is on the birth certificate)…I’ve received formal invitations addressed to Katherine and Kathleen, neither of which is my name!

Post # 10
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mr. xxxx and Ms. xxxx and family?

Post # 11
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@abbie017:  I think it’s considered more polite to use a person’s preferred name

Post # 12
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie:  I’m pretty sure that is the more informative thing I’ve seen today!  Thank goodness you shared this!

Post # 14
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Agree with wording above but want to point out that ACTUALLY if you are going for formal, you  dont invite a shack up or their kids. So if your brother lived with a girl he never married and they had a child, technically you neednt invite the mother of your brother’s kids or the children. 

I know this is harsh but its the strictest rules if formal is what you were going for.

What my family has done in the past is address them to the person we wish to invite and no one else.  If they have responded with 2 will be attending or 4 or whatever, we havent refused them.  I know I know everyone is going to come down on me but that is the way it is supposed to be.  YOU ASKED FOR THE CORRECT FORMAL WAY, if you find some modernised etiquette source that feels differently you are free to follow it, but it is written then to follow practice not form or custom.  Which is the antithesis of etiquette.

My feeling is if you dont respect the sanctity of marriage, I’m not sure you should be a “witness” which is what wedding guests were in the first place.  But I’m planning to invite properly and not refuse any add ons.  (this is already breaking a rule)

FYI to accomodate a brother’s girlfriend I am inviting her as MY friend, but she is the ONLY exception and well, she IS my friend

Good luck. be strong (and correct) if you wish to be

 

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