Post # 1
The odd things you clash with your partner on when planning a wedding…
Sooo, invitation labels. My style is to have it pretty casual-not even include salutations (these are my closest family and friends-i don’t call them “Mr” and “Ms”-I even want to use nicknames when they’re used by the person exclusively, if I think they won’t mind). However my Fiance is a bit more traditional than me and his family is way more traditional, so fine. I’ll include salutations.
Last night I was trying to figure out how to address married couples when the wife has changed her last name. I know formal traditional etiquette is “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe”, without including the woman’s name at all. I am not willing to do that. So is it better to do ” Mr and Mrs John and Jane Doe” or “Mr John Doe and Mrs Jane Doe”? Both are wordy and weird. Or ” Mr John and Mrs Jane Doe”? That sounds wrong.
I ran this by my Fiance and apparently he was envisioning using ONLY last names. Like, ” Mr and Mrs Doe”. Does anyone even do that? We are not black tie formal people. Our save the dates have a photo of cobble stone streets with dirty rain water on them. I know this is far from a huge deal but being so formal seems just totally off from our wedding vibe. I wanted to use the fun “celebrate” stamps and they will just seem so out of place if we get super formal with the addresses.
Thoughts? I’m over thinking this aren’t I.
PS. Ampersand or no ampersand?
Post # 2
Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe
Post # 3
When we contacted everyone asking for their addresses, we also asked them how they’d like to be addressed. That way everyone was happy.
Post # 4
If you want to include the wifes first name then you address it as…
Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith
Post # 5
why don’t you address your people by first names, and let your Fiance address his how he wants
Post # 6
Mr. & Mrs. Doe is appropriate. Mr. John, & Mrs. Jane Doe is also appropriate.
Mr. & Mrs. John Doe is also appropriate – but I don’t like this one.
Post # 7
good idea, but my Fiance won’t even reach out to most of his family for addresses. He’ll only go to his mom or one uncle for the addressees of other people in the family. Of course then they have to go track it down and he feels guilty when he realizes that and I’m thinking “just email your aunt!” but he won’t. I totally don’t get it (they’re a close, if enormous, family and everyone is expecting this) but not my decision. And anyway we have them all now.
Post # 8
I actually think that Mr. and Mrs. Doe is less formal than Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe. In the grand scheme of things though, whatever you put should be fine. The only address that I’d be upset at is if I got one with Mr. and Mrs. John Doe on it, but otherwise, any of the other options seems totally fine.
Post # 9
Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe –> this isn’t really that weird, and is what I would use. Both names should be included – it’s 2016.
Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith –> for if they have different last names and/or are not married
Post # 10
I followed the “Mr John and Mrs Jane Doe” formula with no ampersand. For married friends who had not taken their spouses names, I did Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith (putting the person who I was closer to first). I am not sure if this is proper etiquette, but I hate “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” blech.
Post # 11
I didn’t even do the Mr. and Mrs. It was just “John and Jane Doe” or “Jane Doe” and “John Smith.” I’m not a very formal person though.
Post # 12
Outer Envelope – Mr. and Mrs. John P. Doe
Inner Envelope – Jane and John
Post # 13
I’m pretty sure you’re not “supposed to” separate a man’s first name from his last, so the Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith usage is generally not used…
Post # 14
that’s what I want! I’m compromising tho.
Post # 15
I think I put Ms, rather than Mrs on ours since this is the way it is at my workplace now (no Miss or Mrs – everyone, regardless of marital status is Ms). I can’t remember what I did specifically but I definitely included both names. I had a harder time with the invites for those with different last names, those with Dr and those with children where the wife and husband had differing last names. Some of mine were lengthy for those!