(Closed) Addressing Invites/STD's to siblings who live together

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Adults you want to invite with SOs / Dates / Plus Ones (no matter where they live, or with whom) get their own invite…

So… Jane Doe & Guest (GOOD)


Jane Doe & James Smith (BETTER)


Send one Invite to Jane Doe, and other to the home of her Boyfriend or Best Friend James Smith (BEST)

— — —

Adults who are siblings, but live at the same address, who you are inviting as singles, can recieve one invite…

The Misses Doe

Then on the inside Envelope, you can write:

Jane and Joyce Doe (GOOD)

or send them each their own Invites

Jane Doe

Joyce Doe

— — —

The example, you’ve given:

Jane Doe & James Smith… if they live at different addresses isn’t that great.

And the other one…

Jane Doe & James Smith

and John Doe

Is uber impersonal… and makes poor John look-like (Feel like a 3rd Wheel).  If he is over 18 years old then he needs his own Invite

(Rule of thumb here is EVERYONE over 18 gets their own Invites IF they aren’t part of a recognized social unit… Engaged / Living Together / Married)

Hope this helps,


Post # 4
7738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@futuremrste:  I believe etiquette says separate invitations. They are independent adults, and each will respond separately and make their own arrangements. (Or it’s possible one can attend and one can’t).

And if they’re going to get separate invitations, you might as well spend a stamp and send them in separate envelopes. There is a practical reason: when adults share a home (either siblings, or parents with adults children), they often lead parallel lives, i.e. they share a home but don’t interact too much. So it’s possible that one of the adults doesn’t get told properly. So send each one separately.

EDIT: (sorry I missed part of the question) And I agree with the other posters: Jane’s boyfriend doesn’t need his own invitation; you invite the couple and send the invitation to Jane’s house.

Post # 5
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

In the case of the siblings, I would give two separate invites – one to the couple and one to the sibling. With couples who don’t live together, just one invite – otherwise they may think the other has not been invited and they need to know they’re invited as a couple. We invited couples together, regardless of if they lived together or not. 

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