Post # 1
So… we’re not using an inner envelope.
And… much to my mother annoyance… I refuse to do Mr. And Mrs. John Smith on any invitations. I despise that wording.
We’re having a pretty low-key wedding – at a restaurant (The Moshulu) in Philly. We’re inviting all children (still living at home) and everyone gets a +1
Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family
John and Lucie Smith and Family
Lucie and John Smith and Family
If I def know who the +1 is (living together, long term relationship,etc), I’m putting their name on the invite. If I DON’T know, I was planning on hand writting a little card (we’re talking like 20 or so I don’t know)- and putting in the invitation- stating that we hope to see them at the wedding, and that they are welcome to invite a guest.
Post # 3
Looks good to me….I used the first choice for my save the dates. For the +1, to save you the time of writing out seperate cards you could do the person’s name that you are inviting and put & Guest after their name……example: Miss. Betty Boop & Guest. Hope that makes sense, best of luck with your wedding!
Post # 4
i think the first wording is alright and I agree with the "and guest". If there is more than one "of age" child in one home, I think you can put, "and guests"
Post # 5
If it’s so low key, maybe you could just write the ‘The Smith Family’
Post # 6
I think any of your options are fine, I too don’t like the Mr. & Mrs. John Doe wording. But, since you mentioned your wedding is more low key and less formal, addressing your guests by their first names like option 2 or 3 will appear "less formal and more relaxed" It would just depend if their are people that see it as a respect issue and would like to be called Mr. & Mrs. so-in-so.
Post # 7
I’ve thought about Ms. Lucie Smith and Guest. I’m just not sure I like how it looks (i know, picky, picky). I’ve got some very single girls- and I don’t want them to feel obligated to invite someone (everyone knows at least one other invitee) (a group of my girlfriends have actually asked to some stag- making a girls weekend of the wedding. go figure.
if I decided to do No Mr. and Mrs…. should the woman or man go first?
John and Lucie Smith
Lucie and John Smith
Are the above TOO informal?
Also… i’ve got a couple of married family/friends who have seperate last names… what’s your advice on
John Smith and Lucie Jones and Family?
The Smith Family (some of the girls in question go by husband’s name socially- just haven’t changed it legally)
Post # 8
sorry- cross post.
i hadn’t thought about the respect issue. there are some of my grandparent’s friends who may be offended by me using their first names (I still call them Mr & Mrs and I’m 28).
Perhaps I should go on a case/by/case basis. Older guests Mr and Mrs Smith
Younger guests John and Lucie Smith OR Lucie and John Smith OR The Smith Family
i’m overthinking this, right?
Post # 9
I’m going to have to do mine on a case by case basis as well because we have family and friends who live together but arn’t married. Plus, like you I am also only inviting children that still live at home (for example, no adult cousins only young cousins who still live at home) Here is how I plan on breaking it down:
Family: Aunt Jane and Uncle Joe Smith & Family (alot of my family still likes to be called "aunt/uncle vs/ me calling them by their first names, so since I’ve always addressed them with their title, I will do so on the invites) btw this will be for both my FIs family & mine
Married Friends: Jane and John Smith (since they are our friends there is no Mr. & Mrs. and we will put our closest friends name first, so womens/mans name will depend who is our closest friend, if they are equally our friends we will prob but the males name first)
Married/Single Friends of our Parents: Mr. Name or Ms. Name
Living together but not married friends: John Smith & Jane Jones (we will do the same as our married friends by putting the closest friend first and so on.
Single Friends: Jane Doe & Guest (we have expressed verbally that there is no pressure to bring a guest, but we wanted to have it on the invite so that if the decide to bring one they know it is an option and won’t have to ask us)
Hope this helps 🙂
Post # 10
There are two etiquette related schools of thought on this one. The more old-fashioned thinking says that the woman’s name goes first (Lucie and John Smith) for two reasons – because you don’t separate the man’s first and last names, and because the woman is the "social secretary." A more modern take on the whole thing says that you address the invitation (or thank you note, or Christmas card) with the name of the person to whom are you closest first. So if Lucie is your friend, and John is her husband, it would be Lucie and John Smith. If John is your cousin, and Lucie is his wife, it would be John and Lucie Smith.
Another data point – if you’re addressing an invitation to a married couple who have different last names, the woman’s name comes first, whether you are using the convention "Mrs. Jane Jones and Mr. John Smith" or "Jane Jones and John Smith."
The "And Guest" on the outer envelope is pretty much frowned upon. If you have a lot of single friends, it’s probably the most practical way to go. We actually called or emailed all our single friends to ask whether there was someone special whose name we should include on the invitation – and if they didn’t have someone in mind, we let them know that they would be welcome to bring a guest if they liked. I like the idea of making sure your single friends don’t feel pressured to bring a guest – we found that most of ours didn’t, unless they were dating someone seriously. A more than a few requested that since they didn’t want to bring a guest, we should absolutely NOT decide that we should try to match them up with some other single guest in our seating arrangements.
Post # 11
If its lowkey and kids invited I would do either the 2nd or 3rd.