Post # 1
Two questions regarding addressing for invitations:
I have a wife and husband who are married but the wife has a daughter from a previous marriage with a different last name. How do I address to them? She is not old enough for her own invitation.
I’m inviting a family and extending a +1 for their daughters long term boyfriend. I’m not sending him his own invitation because I’m not close to him but I know the daughter would like if he could come. How do I address to them?
I’m addressing like this:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Family
Mr. and Mrs. James Doe
You get the picture. Thank you!
Post # 3
@Lizzy723: I just put and Family for everyone who had kids rather than listing the individual names. So I’d put Mr. and Mr.s John Smith and Family.
Post # 4
Say the the child’s name was Sophie. Wouldn’t “and Family” include the wife’s daughter? Do they have any children together?
Could you send the daughter and her boyfriend they’re own separate invitation, addressed to the daughter you’re closer with?
Post # 5
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Lizzy (no last name for under 18)
For the +1, do you know his name (can facebook help)? I would go:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Ms. Elizabeth Smith
Mr. Christopher Doe
With no “and”. And implies you are married (we had a couple who were dating with the same last name)
Post # 6
@Pollywog: Thank you. What I might do (since they are somwhat on and off right now, didn’t know that until about 2 minutes ago) is just say Sophie and Guest, if they are still together.
Post # 7
Correct form, is to address the outer envelope containing the invitation to the adult or adults in the household who are responsible for receiving and opening social mail. In the English-speaking world outside of the United States that is presumed to be the lady of the house unless you know otherwise. In the United States it is presumed to be the joint heads of house unless you know otherwise. Outer envelopes are a business document, so you use the lady’s official name: title, given-name and surname.
In the invitation itself, or if you do not have a write-in line on your invitation proper then on the inner envelope, you list the social names of everyone who is invited. So, for a formal invitation use the formal names: title and surname with no given names, or title and given name with no surname for younger siblings; for an informal invitation use first names only.
Remember that in any case correct form requires that you use the form of name that the name’s owner herself prefers. That is almost never “Mrs John Doe” unless she is very formal and proper; it is most commonly “Mrs Jane Doe” even though that was a forbidden name-format until the very late twentieth century; and less commonly but more acceptable to old-fashioned ladies who wrote social notes prior to the late twentieth century, “Ms Jane Doe”.
So for the family with the daughter, use:
(Outer envelope, USA) Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Doe
(Outer envelope, elsewhere) Ms Jane Doe
(invitation, or inner envelope) Mr and Mrs Doe
For the family with the long-term boyfriend, do exactly as above; then place a second invitation addressed to Mr. Longterm inside the same outer envelope. The daughter can deliver it to him, and he can put it up on his own mantlepiece to remember that he has a social engagement that day, and you will not have inappropriately included him in the wrong family. Actually, if the daughter is old enough to have a long-term boyfriend, she is probably out of the schoolroom herself and conducting her own social life. So actually, she should have a separate invitation too, but you can put all three in the same outer envelope.