(Closed) Addressing Save-The-Dates. Help!

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
2501 posts
Sugar bee

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Tachetetreasures:  to your questions:

1. Every adult gets their own invite. So you should send separate ones to the parents (and underage children) and the Bridesmaid. That said, this is a STD, and not the formal invite, so it doesn’t really matter as much. The purpose of STDs is so people put it on their calendar. Since the Bridesmaid or Best Man is, well, your Bridesmaid or Best Man, I think it’s ok to skip her own STD (but she should absolutely get her own formal invitation). This is also where you would address it to her and her fiancé. I’d say that you should send a separate STD/and invite to the finance since they don’t live together, but since you know he cant make it anyway, I think just addressing him on her invite is enough. 


2. Traditionally, a mans name goes first, but also traditionally, you use titles. If you’re going to forgo the social titles anyway, you’re already being non-traditional so rules no longer apply. Many people will tell you that in this case, list the person’s name first that you know better. If you want to be feminist, then always list the woman’s name first (after all, we deserve it!)

3. No. You do this on the formal invitations (Jane Doe and Guest).


Post # 4
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

On point two you put your friend’s name first. ‘Tradition’ said the man’s name automatically came first before equality arrived, that is no longer good etiquette. I disagree with PP’s point two on so many levels! Why wouldn’t you want to be a feminist? Feminists are found in men and women and they’re just people who think everyone should be treated equally irrespective of gender. That doesn’t mean that the woman’s name should always come first either. That’s why you put the person closest to you first, including if they’re married.

If I received an invitation from my brother and he put my husband’s name first I’d think he’d lost his marbles.

4. Provided they share the same surname and there’s no-one else under their roof then The Doe Family would be nice.

I agree with PP’s 1&3. Addressing is a bit of a minefield!

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