(Closed) Addressing the Invites and STD

posted 8 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve been reading a lot about this as well.  Based on Crane’s and various other sources, you should probably put your un-married friend’s name first and then their guest (be it a long-term SO or live-in).  So if you are friends with Jane Doe and her guest is SO Bob Newman, you’d put Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. Bob Newman.  For married couples the most common would be Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  But some people don’t like leaving off the female’s name, so you could also do Mrs. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe.  Hope this helps.  

Here’s a resource:

http://www.crane.com/etiquette/wedding/marriedcouples?RPL

Scroll down to “addressing envelopes” for examples.

Post # 5
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I just sent out my Save-The-Date Cards and we did Mrs.Jane and Mr.John Clark. For our unmarried/dating friends we sent them each an std seperatly if they arent living together. If they do live together then its alphabetically by last name. (Ie Miss Sally Clark and Mr. John Smith)

Post # 6
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I kept my Save-The-Date Cards unformal. Most of mine were “The Smith Family” or “John and Jane Smith”

Post # 7
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Save-The-Date Cards were informal as well.  For the invites, we did as vaness13181 had mentioned, except when we had the female doctors in the house, at which point it became Dr. and Mr. John Doe.

Post # 8
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We did it based on the address we were sending it to.  So like we sent Joe and his gf an invite and since it was to Joe’s address his name was first.  But when we sent it to Jane and her boyfriend at her house, her name was first 🙂

Good Luck!

Post # 9
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

oh yea, and our STD were informal too.  We just sent it to Jane and Jack with their address.

Best!

Post # 10
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I went off of a wedding planning binder that I had.  Here is how we addressed ours:

Our Save the dates were pretty casual, so we took the casual route. 

STD’s Invitation Wording:

Married couple: Amy and John Smith

Unmarried couple living together: Amy Doe and John Smith

Long term couple: Seperate invitations <


(If they were a long term couple that we knew really well and were friends with both in couple, we sent them seperate invitations.  We didn’t want any of our close friends to feel like they were just invited as someones guest.  If you are wanting to cut down cost of invitations, I believe it is proper to send the invitation to the guy and either put – John Smith and guest or Amy Doe and John Smith)

Individual with long term SO that we did not know: Amy Doe (did not include guests on STD’s)

Single Individual: John Smith

For the invitations, they were quite a bit more formal, so we went the formal (proper) route:

Invitations:

Married couples: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Unmarried but living together: Ms. Amy Doe and Mr. John Smith

Long term couple that we know well: Sent seperate invites.

Long term SO that we do not know: Mr. John Doe and Guest

Single individual: Mr. John Doe

 

Truthfully, when it comes down to it, I don’t think anyone will notice if you don’t do it totally correctly.  Most people are just happy to get an invite! : )

Good luck! : )

Post # 11
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Cant find a user name Bride : Everything that I have read has said that STD’s do not have to be as formal as the invitations.  You can pretty much do STD’s whatever way you choose.  We went with first and last names only (Amy and John Doe).

Post # 12
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Thanks bee’s.  I’m sending out my STD’s next week and I didn’t even think about how to address them.

Post # 13
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Cant find a user name Bride :  We haven’t sent out Save-The-Date Cards yet, but we will by the end of September.  I plan on addressing them as Mr. and Mrs. because our wedding is pretty formal, as are our Save-The-Date Cards.  If they were casual looking I would have stuck with the more informal Jane and John Doe.  

One of the previous posters mentioned they are doing the addressing alphabetical for a couple living together.  I don’t plan on doing this unless I know the individuals in question equally. For example, I am inviting my college roommates, both of whom live with their boyfriends.  The boyfriends’ last names come before theirs alphabetically, but I think the envelope should be addressed to my close girlfriends first and then their SO since I’ve only met them once or twice.  

Here is the protocol I am using based on Crane’s:

Unmarried couples, living together can be written as Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith on one line. Alternatively, the “and” may be omitted and the second name can be placed on a separate line.  The person with the closest relationship to the sender should appear first.  If both persons have an equal relationship to the sender the names should be placed alphabetically by last name.  

For same sex partners, single or married, the above format should be followed (Mr. John Doe and Mr. James Smith).

 

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