(Closed) Addressing the invites….need help

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I believe the etiquette for invites is one invitation per household. So if your cousins are still living at home, then your invitation covers all of them. But if you they live at different addresses, then you’ll normally want to send one to each address. Since you’re not too concerned with being 100% proper, then you can probably get away with sending one. Just make sure that the family knows that they are all covered under that one invitation (maybe address each person individually on the inner envelope, if you have an inner envelope). I sent one invitation to my aunt and uncle even though their kids are at college and technically aren’t living at home. My brother did the same for his wedding. He sent the invitation to just our parents even though I lived in San Diego. As long as the family knows they’re all covered, then I don’t think there’s a big problem with sending just the one invitiation.

Post # 4
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Do your cousins live at home? If so, one invitation is appropriate.  If they live out of their parents home, or you are allowing a + guest, they should get their own invite.


Hope this helps!

Post # 5
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Hi.. so proper invite etiquette would be anyone over the age of say, 20 (adult) would get a seperate invitation even if they live in the same household. 

However, you did say you are not 100% crazy about etiquette so if you are close with the family just address it the the parents & family… that would work if no other guests would be invited.

Are you allowing any of your cousins to bring a guest? If so, they would def. need their own invitation to specify who the guest is, etc.

I had a similar situation and I ended up sending 3 seperate invitations to the same house.  I too was having trouble understanding why, I mean thats extra postage and invitations… Hope This Helps

Post # 6
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I didn’t send out separate invites to some of my cousins that traditional etiquette would have required me too.  Anyone who was still living at home either all or part of the year (like if they’re still in college) got their name on their parents invite, even if they’re over the age of 18.  The problem I could see with your situation, though, is if the sons live in their own homes or have wives, fiancees, etc… of their own.  In that case, it might be hard to write all of the names on one invite. 



John and Jill Smith (mom and dad)

Richard and Suzy Smith (1st son and wife)

Bob and Tammy Smith (2nd son and wife)

Joe Smith and Nancy Black (3rd son and fiancee)

Pete Smith (4th son)

Harry Smith and Elizabeth Jones (5th son and girlfirend)


See how that might look really long and unpolished?  The problem is, if the sons aren’t living at home and you address the invite only to "The Smith Family," the sons probably won’t know they’re invited.  Also, it might take a lot of coordination on the mom and dad Smith’s part to get everyone in the family to RSVP since they are presumably adults with their own schedules and lives. 

I would try really hard to send separate invites to all family members who are living in different locations.  If you really can’t spare the invite, my suggestions are to include a note in the invite explaining that all the sons are included (and include separate RSVP cards for each individual) or call/email each son individually to tell them you ran out of invitations but still want them at your wedding.


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