Post # 1
I have my guest list, and I am putting together all of the address and addressing my save the dates. And yes, the people I am sending the save the dates to are absolutely getting an invitation to the wedding.
We are giving single friends a guest to the wedding. But for the Save the Date, I am just going to write our friends name only…for the wedding invitation I will right “and guest” …right?!
Secondly: for friends that are in a relationship but are NOT married, we are going to obviously allow them to invite their significant other. This is my thought and here is where I feel like I am being fuzzy:
For friends that have been dating for many years, I am going to put both names down (ex.: John S. and Jane D.) But Fiance has a two guy friends who are in relationships, but over the last year they have broken up, got back together, broken up, etc. How do I address those? Currently, these two men are back with their girlfriends, but our wedding is 6 months away, and I can see them breaking up again by then. (ugh this sounds awful, just trying to share my honest thoughts!) We are only friends with the guys, we don’t really know their girlfriends that well…so I am ambivalent to put the girlfriends’ name on the Save the Date as well, because if they break up, I don’t care to have them come since i don’t know them. Should I just put the guys’ name only then?
ugh etiquette is complicated, I just want to make sure I am politically correct, not offensive and not hurt anyone’s feeling!
Thank you for any help!
Post # 3
@HeLovesDogs: do they live together? If not, when I was addressing ours, I just put the person’s name that I was closer with/actually cared about being at the wedding. If they for some reason do live with their on/off again girlfriends, I would address it to both, because otherwise your friend might read that as you having no stock in their relationship (even if you don’t!) I have friends in similar situations and I just told them in person they would have a plus one on the invite.
Post # 4
I don’t think you technically need to put dates names (or and guest) on Save-The-Date Cards. I’ve gotten many where just Fiance or just I was listed on the STD but we were both invited on the invitation (while we were engaged). I think if its a long term relationship/engagement it’s nice to put both names but if they’re shorter term relationsihps I don’t think it’s necessary.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - The bride's hometown United Methodist Church near Kalamazoo
I did similarly to the previous poster 🙂 I didn’t put “Plus 1” on my save the dates, I don’t really think an informal postcard is the right place for that, but I certainly will on my invitations, and tried to make sure my single guests all know they get dates (and if they ask me, I will certainly assure them of that!). For those that live with their SOs, I would put their girlfriends names on it; if they don’t, I don’t think you have to.
Post # 6
Thanks for all of your feedback! In these cases they do live together, but its one of those things where they move in, break up and move out, than move back in. I am just going to put our friends on the STD only and verbally let them know they will have a plus one
Post # 7
We didn’t put +guest on any of the Save-The-Date Cards, but for the people in long term/engaged/married relationships we put both names. I have a few friends who have semi-long term relationships (about 6 months at the time of the save the dates), and I just used the friend’s name and told them that they will have a +1 for the invitation.
However, I’m getting a little nervous for our invitations. We have family friends who asked us to just use “last name family” for the addresee, and they have kids. The kids are definitely not invited, but the couple and the mother who all live in the same house but have different last names are. Not sure how I’m going to address that enveloppe.
Post # 8
I put ‘and guest’ on my save the dates when I was in your same scenario. Otherwise if they breakup, the ex-GF may think she is still invited. Unfortunately two of my married friends announced they are getting a divorce after I sent out the save the dates but before sending invitations, so you never know.
If any of your guests are traveling, it is helpful to know if they can bring a date when they are making travel plans. So I am definitely in favor of putting ‘& guest’ on a save the date!
Post # 9
@CityBearBride: We only have one guest who would be flying to our wedding…so I think for his only I will put “and guest” so he knows to book flights for himself and his girlfriend. Thank you!