(Closed) Addressing the Save the Dates…ugh dont want to be rude!

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@HeLovesDogs:  do they live together?  If not, when I was addressing ours, I just put the person’s name that I was closer with/actually cared about being at the wedding.  If they for some reason do live with their on/off again girlfriends, I would address it to both, because otherwise your friend might read that as you having no stock in their relationship (even if you don’t!)  I have friends in similar situations and I just told them in person they would have a plus one on the invite.

Post # 4
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you technically need to put dates names (or and guest) on Save-The-Date Cards.  I’ve gotten many where just Fiance or just I was listed on the STD but we were both invited on the invitation (while we were engaged).  I think if its a long term relationship/engagement it’s nice to put  both names but if they’re shorter term relationsihps I don’t think it’s necessary.

Post # 5
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - The bride's hometown United Methodist Church near Kalamazoo

I did similarly to the previous poster 🙂 I didn’t put “Plus 1” on my save the dates, I don’t really think an informal postcard is the right place for that, but I certainly will on my invitations, and tried to make sure my single guests all know they get dates (and if they ask me, I will certainly assure them of that!). For those that live with their SOs, I would put their girlfriends names on it; if they don’t, I don’t think you have to. 

Post # 7
79 posts
Worker bee

We didn’t put +guest on any of the Save-The-Date Cards, but for the people in long term/engaged/married relationships we put both names. I have a few friends who have semi-long term relationships (about 6 months at the time of the save the dates), and I just used the friend’s name and told them that they will have a +1 for the invitation.


However, I’m getting a little nervous for our invitations. We have family friends who asked us to just use “last name family” for the addresee, and they have kids. The kids are definitely not invited, but the couple and the mother who all live in the same house but have different last names are. Not sure how I’m going to address that enveloppe.

Post # 8
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I put ‘and guest’ on my save the dates when I was in your same scenario.  Otherwise if they breakup, the ex-GF may think she is still invited.  Unfortunately two of my married friends announced they are getting a divorce after I sent out the save the dates but before sending invitations, so you never know.


If any of your guests are traveling, it is helpful to know if they can bring a date when they are making travel plans. So I am definitely in favor of putting ‘& guest’ on a save the date!

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