Post # 1
I’m going through my guest list and attempting to write the "formal" names for each of the guests — we need to print them for our save the dates ASAP.
Clearly there are the easy ones: Mr. and Mrs. Smith. But I have a question about a few special circumstances.
What do I do about a woman being invited alone because she is currnetly going through a bad divorce? Is she Mrs. Susan Smith? Or is she still Mrs. Edward Smith?
What do I do about a woman who is a widow? Again — Mrs. Betty Miller? or is she still Mrs. Thomas Miller?
And just to be sure — my single girlfriends are Ms. and not Miss. — right??
Thanks for your help!
Post # 3
I think you should use what they would feel comfortable with! That was my approach to invites–women who I knew wouldn’t want to be Mrs and Mrs Thomas Smith were Mrs. Susan and Mrs. Thomas Smith, etc.
Most divorced women I know would rather be Mrs Susan Smith (or even Ms. Susan Maidenname, if she’s going by that now) than Mrs. Edward Smith. Some widows (esp. very senior ones) would go by Mrs. Thomas Miller, but probably wouldn’t mind if you called them "Mrs. Better Miller".
I would never call my single/unmarried friends Miss, but because they would probably kill me–and I wouldn’t have used Miss for myself either.
A lot of that is regional/cultural/family specific, so maybe the best bet is to ask your mother or Future Mother-In-Law what those specific women are going by.
Post # 4
It gets tough too, with all my girlfriends that are married or partnered doctors where the partner doesn’t have a title. I’m not looking forward to this part!
Post # 5
Dr. and Mr. Smith (or Dr. Susan and Mr. David Smith or Dr. Susan Smith and Mr. David Jones)
We went through all sorts of title-ettiquette issues for ours (including people with WAAAAY too many titles!), and no one complained (except a recently graduated MD who joked that our reply cards with M__________ weren’t very helpful for Drs, Revs, etc.–so she crossed out M and wrote DR in BIG letters). I think, as long as you are respectful and do your best, people will appreciate the invite. 🙂
Post # 6
The proper address for a widow is Mrs. Betty Miller.
If a woman is going through a divorce (and is therefore presumably separated, i.e., not living with her (ex)husband), then she should be treated as either Mrs. Susan Smith or Ms. Susan Smith (depending on what you think she would prefer). If she were already divorced it would be Ms. Susan Smith.
Young girls (under 18) should be Miss (no period after Miss). Unmarried women (i.e., grown up, out of the house) are Ms.
Post # 7
Thanks so much!! I appreciate the help.
Post # 8
I actually blogged about this myself.. Here’s the link, hope it helps!