(Closed) Adopting when you physically can have children. Wrong?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

Does she realize how many kids there are in foster care? They don’t need to be reserved for anyone; they need loving homes. I’d probably say that to her and try to change the subject. You’re the one starting a family, not her.

Post # 4
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

she’s nuts. i’m 100% with you on this- there’s an overflow of children in the foster care system and group homes because there are simply too many children without families.  anyone who wants to adopt, regardless of their reasoning, is doing a big mitzvah by making giving a child a home.

Post # 5
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

ps mitzvah= good deed.  sorry- jew brain.

Post # 6
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Whoa. I have never heard that opinion before. I think she is defintiely in the minority in her opinion, so I wouldn’t be too concerned. I think adoption, ESPECIALLY of a special needs child, is one of the most admirable things someone can do, regardless of whether they can have biological children.

Post # 7
Member
5476 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

You are NOT crazy. God gifted THE WORLD with children.. all children. How would your Mother-In-Law be so insensitive? It is great people like you who see past the world’s image of “perfection” and actually look at individual’s humanity that really stand out. I applaud you for wanting to adopt a special needs child. There is no shortage of children in this world that need loving homes. There are so many todlers and children because most couples want to adopt babies. So if you are saving a poor child from foster parents who really just want them for the pay check and situations where no child should feel unloved you go ahead and punch your Mother-In-Law in the face and stepping out of place. How the hell could she say that! Shame on her!

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

She’s crazy. No there is nothing wrong with adoption and her opinions are crazy.

That said, I wouldn’t bring it up with her again since you are not at that stage yet. There is no reason to have this fight right now.

Post # 9
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow, she apparently doesn’t have a full grasp of how many children are in foster care and need homes. And the fact that she said that about special needs children, who are almost impossible to effectively and positively adopt out? I don’t know how you didn’t punch her in the face!!

Personally, I would never speak to her again about it. If she asks when you plan to have children, tell her you will let her know when the time comes, and you do not want to discuss it with her further

Post # 11
Member
5476 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

WOAH- I got really heated on that one.. sorry for all the typos!

Post # 12
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

what a nut, sorry. in the future, don’t discuss these things with her, especially not at length and in detail .

Post # 13
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was adopted! I think adoption is great. I don’t think it matters if you can have children or not. I’m with bellagio.. there are a lot of kids in foster care. Especially since they are special needs, not many people can handle that. 

I think it’s great you want to do that. You have a big heart, and I can’t believe she would make you feel bad for something like that! What is her real issue?

Post # 14
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Mrs Hedgehog: I’m not sure how she can reference “God” and deny a child of adoption in the same sentence.

Post # 15
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I totally had to laugh out loud to her statement.  Are you kidding me?!  There are so many children who are in need of a good home.  You can basically go ANYWHERE.  

/facepalm.

Post # 16
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Who cares if you can or cant have children. If you want to adopt then do it. There are so many children that dont have good families to love them, it would be such a blessing for that child!!! Adoption is a great thing. 

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