(Closed) Adoption Journey?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We will be! Just discussing if we want to start right away or take a little time since our TTC journey was long and difficult. Plus I’m doing research on private attorneys and foster care adoption. We know for sure we will not be going through a private agency.

Post # 4
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

While I’m not to that point yet (we will be, we’re just not ready for kids) I have a recommendation. There is a site called Baby Jelly Beans (I think) that my parents used to document their journey adopting my youngest sister. It’s got a LOT of different types of stories you can read and even have your own so your family and friends (and other bees!) can read about it.

Post # 5
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m really excited to follow your journey, bees!  Hopefully, you’ll keep this thread up to date so the rest of us can follow along with you. 

Post # 7
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

There are higher legal risks, not to mention costs with an agency. First with an agency, parental termination of rights is done in private at the agency. You can have a lawyer present on your behalf but the birthparents may not have access or financial means to an attorney and things could go wrong and overturn the adoption. With a private attorney, everything is done through the probate court in front of a judge and both birth parents and adoptive parents have attorney representation. Also, with attorneys, the adoptive parents have direct placement and custody through the whole process. With an agency, they have the legal rights to the child and can remove the child from your home as they see fit during the process before the adoption is final. If something does go wrong

and they remove the child, they then choose the next arrangements for the child as they see fit without any consultation from the birthparents. They have no legal obligation to contact the birth mom in this case and I feel that is deceiving to them. The amount of clients being handled is another issue. With am attorney we are talking to, his practice will only work with 15 couples at a time. Now while this may cause a wait, a social worker can gave a much larger case load at an agency and couples can run the risk of slower process due to the high volume of cases. Finally is the cost. Agencies have fees on top of what adoptive patents usually cover i.e. Medical, Legal & Court. An agency additional fees can be up to an additional 10,000. Now with an agency alot of that fees gies to researching and finding a family for you, while with an attorney you have to put yourself out there. Make web pages, promote yourself and look on your own too. I feel it gives yourself more freedom and options. Private attorney adoptions range from $8,000-$14,000 while agency ranges are $20,000-$30,000. I feel with attorneys not only are you more protected but so is your birth mom and for someone like me that wants a fully open adoption, her rights and safety are just as important as ours.

Now we are also looking at foster care which is a total different process from either scenario above! However, I almost was placed in foster care as a child and afterwards grew up with a family that worked with foster children and with CPS, so my heart is there. Plus we are highly interested in sibling pairs and there is more of a chance with that happening through the system. We are still weighing out our options!

Post # 9
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

my husband and I have adopted 4 children. All of ours are done through social services though.

Post # 10
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I understand! I’m going off the costs 3 different attorneys and 2 agencies have given us that we’ve actually spoken to. The 3 attorneys we talked to had an average of about $14,000 but of course that cost can go higher depending on how long your process is and how one bills. Sone attorneys do bill per hour and some have a flat fee. It also varies if the birthmom has medical coverage of her own or through the state. If none, that cost is passed to you. I’m in Ohio and I’m sure costs vary by state and situations. I’m finding the same issue with birth father rights! It’s like they aren’t even a factor, so sad!

@shedayz: You are a wonderful inspiration for me! I would love to hear your story! Are any of them siblings?

Post # 11
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m not down this road yet but I’m very interested in the process.  We’re still weighing our options as to how we want to adopt (private, foster-to-adopt, embryo).  Good luck!!!

Post # 12
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Just wanted to echo @MrsSpring’s thoughts – wishing all of you the best of luck, and hope you update us as you go about your journey.   I wish all of you a not-too-difficult road and a wonderful family at the end!  My husband and I hope to adopt our 2nd. 

Post # 13
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

First off, I am always so impressed with families who are going the adoption route! I think it is an amazing way to build a family.  We are not planning on it at this point, but our nephew was adopted from Guatemala – and his older sister is a bio child.  It is lovely to see how the family is just like any other and how the parents’ love is no different between the two.  Happy to share anything about what I have learned as an aunt to these two kiddos (and some of the challenges my nephew is facing as he is getting older).

Good luck to everyone!!

Post # 14
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MissGreen: My now 17 year old daughter was placed with us when she was 2. She was already surrended for adoption when she was placed with us, but she has special needs so we had to do a medical foster to adopt. Once we had shown that we could deal with her issues we were approved to adopt. After that we had 2 bio kids. then we accepted placement of a child in PICU (he was 5 months old) who was not expected to live. We did so because there was no way in hell we would leave a child to die alone. We visited every day (all of us) and after a month he began to recover. We were told he would be blind, deaf and wheel chair bound. We continued with placement because we had all grown to love him after so many hours spent in PICU rocking him, singing to him, and begging the universe not to take such a gentle soul. He came home after 3 months in PICU and he was not cleared for adoption, so we were looking at a foster situation. A year into the foster, his bio parents gave up their rights and his other biological family members didn’t want him. So, we put in for adoption! He is 9 years old now, and he is disabled, but he is our joy! then, we got the twins! They are now 5 and were placed with us at 2. They were cleared for adoption from the get go but WE were not supposed to be their adoptive parents. Their adoption fell through and we were asked if we wanted to apply for adoption. Of course, after so long with us, and their full integration into our family it was impossible to say no. We also have a biological son who is 18.

So, 7 kids for us. 4 adopted, 3 bio. WE LOVE THIS FAMILY!!! I don’t regret a single day of it 🙂

Post # 15
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

@shedayz: What an amazing family you all are! Thank you so much for sharing your story and for adopting those children!!!

Post # 16
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Jenn23: truly, it’s been my pleasure. they are all wonderful children 🙂

The topic ‘Adoption Journey?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors