Post # 1
I know this topic has been brought up before, just wanted to get some new opinions! On our invitations and wedding website we are putting “adult friendly reception to follow” Do you think people will understand that that means “Adult only reception?” or that it means “alcoholic beverages are being served?” What is your interpretation on what it means?
I have also read some posts that say you can’t invite a only a few kids and not everyones kids. We, both Fiance and myself are inviting 3 of our 1st cousins who happen to be younger. (Ages 7, 12, 14- all traveling from 10-14 hours) Fiance brother is 15. Our flower girls and ring bearer will only be there for the ceremony & pictures and will leave afterwards. How do I handle it when I get the response that “I’m coming and bringing my kids” when I’m saying that it is adults only. (Right now our wedding is approx. $100 per person- kids and adults are counted the same way.) Should I word the invitation/wedding website different?
Post # 3
I’ve never seen it worded “adult friendly reception” before. It sounds kind of confusing, I would assume it meant adults only, but I’m more wedding aware than most.
I would do some clarification somewhere and spread the word by mouth.
If you do get calls or RSVPs with children, you are going to have to call them and let them know the wedding is adults only.
Post # 4
As a guest I would NOT take Adult friendly reception to mean no children allowed.
Post # 5
I think adult friendly could confuse people. Honestly if Fiance and I recieved an invitation that said adult friendly reception we would assume that it meant there would be alcohol there and not that it meant no kids. We don’t have kids and I’m not a huge fan of bringing kids to weddings. So I would make sure your RSVP’s are clear as to only the adults being invited and be ready for the kid question from people. As far as your relatives being the only kids there just tell people it’s your day and they are your family.
Post # 6
The adults friendly wording is confusing, it almost sounds like it’s mostly children. I would just address the invitation to the adults, not including the children’s names and leave out the option for them to write how many guests are coming. If they ask, tell them it’s because of the budget.
Family comes first, after all.
Post # 7
What about just “Adult reception to follow”? I think taking “friendly” out makes a big difference. I’m also doing the same as you are with family… there will only be 5 children until the age of 18 and they are my cousins whom I’m very close to.
Post # 8
The best way to formally say “Adults Only” in on your invitations- you should only put the adults’ names on the envelopes- no kids names, no “and family”, etc. If people ask, say it’s adults only. If you’re cutting the “kid list” to 1st cousins only, don’t make exceptions.
We’re having an adults only reception as well and even though it’s not until next year, I know my mom has been casually “spreading the word” among our family.
You’ll always get some guest who rsvps with their kids but you’ll have to call them and explain.
Post # 9
Yeah, like previous posters, I’m unsure of the word “friendly.”
We’re not having kids at the reception, but we’ll just be addressing the invites to the adults only and then leaving space for them to indicate how many are attending…and we may have to make some follow-up phone calls if it appears children are being written in!
Post # 10
First of all, it isn’t proper ettiquette to include anything like that on your invitation. Fir the website, I’m not even sure what you are trying to get at. Are you trying to tell guests that there will be alcohol? If so, no need. This is assumed. If you are trying to tell guests not to bring their kids, then simply include “Adult reception to immediately follow” but include that only on the website. The way the invitation is addressed will indicate no children and also this can be told to problem guests through word of mouth.
Post # 11
“Adult Friendly” definitely doesn’t mean “Adults Only” or “No Children” to me! I think that wording is only going to confuse your guests.
I also think that if you will have some kids there, IMO you cannot say “Adults Only” (because obviously, it’s not). That doesn’t mean that have have to invite everyone’s kids – you most certainly don’t need to invite them. Don’t say anything about “Adult’s Only”, “Adult Reception”, etc – just address the invites to the parents only and if they are rude enough to RSVP for their children too, just call and tell them that due to budget, space, etc you aren’t able to include their children but you hope that the parents will still be able to join you.
Post # 12
I agree that its confusing. MissBabeski is right. It almost sounds like its a children event, that is also welcoming adults.
Post # 13
I agree with the others, your wording is a bit confusing.
I’ve never heard of it being improper etiquette to put the wording on the actual invitations. It would be ridiculous to think that all of our guests are actually going to visit our wedding website (especially older guests who are not internet savvy). My point has been proved by the fact that we have only had about 15-20 “hits” on our wedding website- of the 200 people we invited. Putting the wording at the bottom of our invitations has saved me a lot of headaches. Relying on word of mouth to get the word out about having a child-free wedding is equally unreliable, so definitely don’t count on that.
We included the “Adult Reception to Follow”wording on our invites as well as the website, and not ONE person has tried to bring their kids. They understood that “Adult Reception to Follow” means just that- ADULT reception. A child is NOT an adult. I think it’s pretty obvious, and people who try to bring their children despite the fact that your invitation states otherwise, are not doing it because they’re “confused”- they understand exactly what an “Adult reception” is – they’re just ignoring your wishes and trying to bring their children anyway. IMO, it is rude and disrespectful.
You are walking a slippery slope though, by saying you want an Adult reception, but including *some* kids. If that’s the case, just do what FutureKMM suggested, which is don’t put any “Adult” language on the invite and just address the invites to the parents and- make sure you fill in the number of seats reserved on the RSVP card. Good luck!
Post # 14
I’ll also add, that since Fiance and I are having an adult only ceremony and rehersal with not even any kids in the wedding party (flower girl, ring bearer) We had a jack and jill bridal shower and we put on that invitation— “the wedding is adults only but this even is for the whole family” and made sure to invite everyone with kids to the shower. It saved us a lot of grief and only one person out of 200+ has asked about bringing kids to the wedding, without having a wedding website, or putting it on the invitations. Also we haven’t had anyone rsvp with their kids!
Post # 15
I have changed it to Adult Reception to follow! Thank you so much for the imput!
Post # 16
@Lolasmomma: I’ll just mention again in case it got lost in my slightly long post. You put yourself in a really sticky situation when you say “Adult Reception to Follow” when you already said that there WILL be children there. You said in your original post that there will be 4 younger non-adult people there. I have no problem with you inviting some children and not others but you can’t really tell people its an adult reception when it isn’t and expect them to not get a little ticked.