(Closed) Adult only reception

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We said age 15 and up which allowed the older kids to come, there’s only two, but kept the ones that were too little away. We posted on our wedding website a nanny service as one of the options that guests could look into. 

Post # 17
Member
25 posts
Newbee

Why don’t you ban 12 and unders? Teenagers tend to be well behaved.

Post # 19
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We are having adults only as well… we tried to reason and have a couple close nieces and nephews that were over 14 attend but it turned into WWIII

At the end of the day I say do as it shuts you but make a hard rule that can be followed. Most (I say that loosely because of my families issue) will understand why their 10 year old can’t come bit a 10 year old close to the family can… 

 

Post # 20
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

We are doing adults only ceremony and reception. For the most part people have been understanding. We had some push back from an aunt on his side, but we held our ground and went as far as restricting it to 21 and older (and we’re in Ontario where legal age is 19) I do not want children at the ceremony either because many of our friends and family have little babies and toddlers and I don’t want them crying through out the ceremony. We both LOVE kids and can’t wait to have our own, but to me it’s your day and you can do what you want and unfortunately weddings are boring and definitely not fun for babies and toddlers. To answer your question about the kiddos that are close to you, I agree with other Bees who said try to include those ones in the wedding party. Otherwise you run the risk of looking like you chose favourites. I would also add that you should tell people well ahead of the invites that you are having an adults only reception. We got it out in the air ASAP and people appreciated the heads up. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by  MrsLeb.
Post # 21
Member
12324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

hollysmith92:  Personally, I’ve never  seen issues with kids at weddings, even those with open bars.  Then again, social occasions in our family do not revolve around alcohol, and  parents are responsible and do watch after their children. YMMV. 

I don’t agree with plans to appoint  a flower girl,  ring bearer, or usher, while not inviting other children that have the same exact relationship to you. First and foremost, they are invited  guests.  To me, you invite all or none. I would not be able to justify inviting cousins on your side but not on FIs. 

 

Post # 22
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

sarahs905:  it’s crazy because these aunts and uncles are not even close to me. I feel as if they didn’t come i wouldn’t be missing out on anything. I care about my immediate family which is really small. My mom tries to have this relationship with her family and then wants them at the wedding. I am fine with that but than they are like oh no kids well we probably won’t go. I am like fine how is this my problem. My mom gets all upset but really my moms side of the family doesn’t talk to us and my dads side of the family doesn’t even know i exist. More than half of my guest will be close friends and maybe 12 actual family members. All my close friends that i have all understand where i am coming from and that is really how it should be. They support me 100% on my decisions. Sometimes i wish i had a super big close family but when i start to hear all the drama I’m like no thank you. 

Post # 23
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

my fiance and i are having an adult only wedding. The youngest person will be his sister. She’s 12 years old. The next youngest person is 21. My nephew isn’t coming and none of my cousins children or any of my friends children. I love them all but they are just not welcome at the wedding. I consider it an adult affair. I dont want to trip over children on the dance floor, risk kicking one of them, or having any of them screaming their heads off during my ceremony. NOT happening!

Post # 24
Hostess
8575 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

We had an aduly only reception, the only actual child here was my flower girl. The next two youngest were my bridesmaid & one of my male cousins [both 17]. Everyone else was over 21 and it was fine.

Post # 25
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

hollysmith92:  we had an Adult Only reception and it was just that. The only kids there were the Flower Girl & Round Brilliant who were in the wedding. If you are going to allow teens, then you need to be specific as to what age you are allowing (i.e. 15 & up or 13 & up) 

We didn’t have any teens in the family, so we didn’t have this issue. We also didn’t have any issues with parents leaving their kids at home. They were happy to be able to fully enjoy the wedding, didn’t hae to leave early, or entertain the kids. They were able to eat and drink in peace. We didn’t have kids because we wanted everyone to enjoy the wedding, and on top of that it was too expensive. They wanted to charge half the price of what we would pay for an adult. I am sorry, but I am not paying $80 per kid for some chicken fingers and sliders when you can walk right to McDonalds and get the same thing for $5!

Post # 26
Member
2108 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We’re doing 16 and up. That’s the cut off and we’re sticking too it. We have a lot of friends with young children and we don’t want to have to worry about that. I think you just have to draw that line and then stick to it.

Post # 27
Member
12324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The trouble with a lower age cut off is that you can wind up excluding younger siblings and inviting older ones, or excluding only the kids of one family but not in another. To me, the method least likely to cause  hurt feelings is to do it by relationship. Personally, I’d invite the children of immediate family members only. 

Post # 29
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We are going to have my and my FI’s nephews (one 3 and one 18month on the day) and my Cousin’s daughter be ring bearers and a flower girl. Other than that we will have my other cousin’s kids there 13 and 10. I have a feeling there are a couple new borns we may have to admit as we have several friends who are pregnant and due a few months prior to our wedding. However, I think we will limit it to if they are still breastfeeding then they are allowed to come. Knowing our friends they will probably have them stay with their parents with a set up of milk and come out. Our wedding is during the day (11-5) so they should be able to make it back no problem.

Post # 30
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think there is a big difference between teenagers and children/babies. I don’t think anyone would object to two teenagers being there when their children weren’t invited teens are almost adults and will behave as such in an adult enviroment. 

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