(Closed) Adult Only Reception – kids up to a certain time?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Lassroyale: I think unless you are providing a babysitter/playroom/something for the kids to go to at 8pm, that’s a little hard for parents to do.

Are a lot of your guests from out of town? Or live a little ways away? I’d think you’d end up with a lot of people going home with their kids at 8, rather than staying and partying with you.

Post # 4
Member
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I almost think thats worse. Are you expecting parents to arrange for a babysitter to come pick up their children from the reception??

Unless there is somewhere onsite for the parents to take their kids, I would think almost everyone would just leave.

Post # 5
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

As good intentions as you have on this – I have real trouble visualizing it actually happening. I think you either say “only kids in the family are invited” or “adults only”. Because really, if you’re a parent and you’re bringing your 6 year old to the reception are you really going to leave at 8PM? 

Sorry. I wish there was an easier way for you! May I ask why your niece and nephew must be at your reception?

Post # 6
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree with the PP. Its going to be VERY hard unless you provide a play area or babysitter on site.

Post # 7
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the others, unfortunately you’ll have to do all or nothing.. Be ready for some nasty posts, everyone had their opinion on this one..

Post # 8
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

agreed. if you want to go this route than i think it is up to you (maybe your sister could help with this) to provide an on-site babysitter (or at least a babysitter who will come pick up the kids and take them all to a hotel room or something). i can’t imagine people are going to want to take their kids home at 8 and then come back. some will probably leave them at home all together (which i assume is your intention), but many will bring them and just leave at 8, and others will bring them and figure that once they’re there, you won’t say anything to them about it when the kids are still hanging out at 10.

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ah I see. I think you should put “adult only” on your invites and explain to your Maid/Matron of Honor that she is able to bring her kids but please not shout it as they’re only coming due to  your family relationship (and do that for anyone where this applies). And IMO you’d also need to apply that to your FH’s family.

Post # 12
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Lassroyale: I disagree with the PP who said that it is an “all or none” kind of thing because it absolutely is not.  IMO, you cannot say adults only if there will be ANY kids there (your kids, wedding party, family, etc), but there is nothing wrong with only inviting kids within your family but not kids of your friends.  You just have to tell people that it’s family only instead of telling them adults only (because adults only woudn’t be true).

Unfortunately, although I appreciate and understand you intentions behind the “kids until 8pm, adults only after” idea, I have to agree with others that it probably won’t work so well in practice.

All that said – I think going with a rule of only kids of family being invited to the reception will be your best bet!

Post # 13
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

Alright, I figured something like that would be touchy.  I don’t mind having children of the family only stated on the invitations or what not.  So just having the family’s kids is within proper ettiquette?

I wouldn’t do this either… I think it’s fine to invite the 3 kids in your family and no one else’s – but don’t write anything about it on the invitation.  I think that would also be a bad move.  Just invite the parents, make it clear only 2 people (or whatever) are invited, and hope for the best. 

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