(Closed) Adult-only reception. Opinions welcome :)

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is an "adult reception" fair under these circumstances?
    Yes, put on the invitations "Adult reception to follow". I AGREE WITH YOU! : (56 votes)
    47 %
    Just don't include children on the invitations so people get the hint, but you're not rude : (35 votes)
    30 %
    No, it is not fair to allow those kids, and not all kids : (26 votes)
    22 %
    Another suggestion (comment below) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    9549 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Do you know someone locally who could whatch your NM cousin’s kids during the reception? If I got an invitation that said adults only and then saw kids who weren’t in the bridal party at the reception I would be confused and might think that my kids were targeted.

    Post # 4
    11419 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    It’s considered to be improper to state who is NOT invited to an event, so the polite manner in which to convey this information is to address the invitations to the adults and for you and your close family and friends who know this information to answer any questions from your other guests who may wish to ask for clarification regarding this. 

    Post # 5
    6341 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Ours is similar to yours, in that our two cousins who are 12 and 10 will be there, but no other children are invited. I have considered stating politely on the invites that children aren’t invited, but because we know fairly few people wih children we are instead going to list only those invited (ie the adults) on the invite, and then simply tell those people who hae children in person that unfortunately we’re not able to accommodate children and that we hope that understand. We will also put the information re it being adult only on our website.

    I would say this is the ‘proper’ way to do it; but I think it depends on how easy it will be for you to communicate this information to all your guests with children. If that wil be difficult, then I think ‘adult only reception to follow’ is a polite but to-the-point way of putting it, as it doesn’t specifically state ‘no children’ (which sounds rude) but makes the point clear. I personally wouldn’t take offence to that wording, and don’t know anyone who would.

    Post # 7
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @harvwife31:  I completely agree with your reasoning and the phrasing of the invites. //  My family fussed with me over the guestlist to include everyone and their kids.  Fine.  In the end, most of the families with kids went home early because the parents couldn’t stand the music/drunk crowd.  ha! 

    Post # 9
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @JenGirl:  +1

    Find someone who can watch their kids during the ceremony and reception. That way, they can still bring their kids for the weekend, but your rule remains consistent.

    Post # 11
    1075 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’m in the same situation, allowing only the kids who will be in the wedding already, and 2 other kids because our wedding is Thanksgiving weekend and they’ll be in town as a family anyway. 

    These are pretty much all of the kids in FI’s family, but I’m not inviting kids from my side because of cost. So on all invitations, we will write everyone’s name, not just “Smith Family” and write in ___ seats have been reserved in your honor. ___ / ___ accept with pleasure (please write your names below). ___ /___ regretfully decline.

    In your shoes, because the kids are undruly, I’d suggest to the mom that they stay at a friend’s house, or arrange a sitter for them.

    Post # 12
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I think Adults Only is fine. Maybe include a little blurb about how you want the adults to enjoy their night and celebrate with you without having to worry about taking care of kids. I obviously stated this poorly but something along those lines.

    Post # 13
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m probably in the minority but I think it’s fine to cherry pick which children to invite. If other people don’t like it too bad they can just not come in my opinion! It’s rude of people to assume others are invited and/or to make a rude comment about it to you/ask if they can bring their kids.

    Post # 15
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I totally agree with you. While some people may say it’s not fair, it’s not their wedding. Do what YOU want. 🙂 While it’s not really nice to pick and choose which kids can come and which can’t, you’re reasoning is really valid for inviting the ones you have. They are from out of town and I think it would have been more rude to say they can not come.

    On our invites, I put “adult only reception following” to make the point clear. Honestly, I don’t think people will get the hint if you just place the parents names on the card. Especially if they WANT to bring their kids, they might pretend they didn’t understand it was no kids. I would definitely make it clear for them. 🙂

    Post # 14
    6110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @harvwife31:  honestly it’s quite rude to allow certain kids to come but not others. In My Humble Opinion it’s all or nothing. Also, you might want to consider that people who are traveling probably won’t want to leave their kids at home. Possibly find out if you can hire a “nanny” type person to come to the reception and watch the kids in a seperate room during the reception.

    Post # 16
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @harvwife31:  Oh my gosh, especially if you’re inviting 300 people, 4 or so children will NOT be that noticeable. Think about if everyone was allowed to bring their kids. Who knows how many that would be! 🙂

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