(Closed) Adult only reception wording?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t put “Adults Only” on the invite. If you have a wedding website, you could put something on the site about it, as well as have the “adults only” part spread via word of mouth.

As for invitation wording, just put the names of those invited on the envelope and have the response card say: “We have reserved 2 seats in your honor” and then have them fill out ___ of 2 will be attending.

If anyone puts their kids on there, you’ll just have to make some phone calls about it.

Post # 4
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

In the information section on our insert card we put “Respectfully, an adults only affair” and also did the ___ of ___ attending and filled in the second space with the number of invited guests. We did not have any problems.

Post # 5
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You should do a search on the site – there are about 1,000 threads on this very topic :-). So many of us struggled with it, too!

Post # 6
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Are you using a wedding website?  If you are, I would put the information online, not on your invites.  You can also spread the word via word of mouth.

You’re right; people should know that the only people invited are those listed on the envelope, but in this day and age, people can be clueless.  You may have to make some calls to inform people that their kids aren’t invited.

One way to get around this is to have an RSVP card that says something like: “We have reserved two spaces in your honour”.  This way, the invitee SHOULD understand that only 2 people (not their 3 kids) are invited.  It worked for us.  

My sister had to use the wording “Adult Reception to Follow” on her invites because her SIL was being difficult, but my parents were confused by it.  I wouldn’t say it’s tacky to include it on your invites, but I do think that you should expect your guests to behave properly and then deal with it when they disappoint.  🙂

Post # 7
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Eff it.  I put “Adult reception immediately following”.  It’s one little added word.  I decided it was worth the risk of appearing “tacky” to avoid the headache of any possible confusion. 

Post # 8
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you are including an insert card, it is perfectly acceptable to put that information on it. I would not put it on the actual invitation however. Anyone offended by that information being included in an insert card is going to be the same type of person who is rude enough to give you a hard time about it.

Post # 10
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d be sure to put it on the website and the card.  The threads already posted about this topic have tales of people showing up with their kids. If you have it in several locations, plus your mom and word of mouth, you should be ok.

Post # 12
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Beth2010: Just had a thought:  Especially as you are allowing the children of your wedding party, I wouldn’t say “Adults Only”…mainly because it seems like people get bent out of shape seeing other children there.  On a website, just say that because of space constraints, only children of the wedding party are being included.

We didn’t do a second envelope, as we were inviting everyone by name (no “and guest”) and were lucky enough that everyone lived in the same house.  We also sent separate invitations for cousins that still lived at home but were over 18.  I don’t think that you need a second envelope, unless you really want to list everyone’s name clearly.  

We built our own website, but I know that there are bees who have used The knot and other free sites.  There may be some more info in the “tech” section of the boards.

Post # 13
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

I have seen “Adult Reception to Follow” hundreds of times.  No need for a please or thank you.  This is not a request, it’s an unwavering expectation.

Post # 14
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think it depends on the people you are inviting.  I tend to find the wording a little rude – but people on this site have mentioned random children turning up uninvited!

I didn’t invite children but also didn’t write ‘adults only reception’ anywhere either and no one attended with children. 

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