(Closed) "Adult reception" and "and family", whose invited?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who was meant to be invited
    All 5 Smith's : (33 votes)
    89 %
    Mr. And Mrs. Smith and the 23 yr old : (2 votes)
    5 %
    Mr. And Mrs. Smith and the 16 yr old : (0 votes)
    Some other combination : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It seems confusing to me too. I’m having an adult reception, the youngest person there will be about 16. I think adult reception is mostly meant to keep young kids out. I think they should rsvp for the whole family, or call the couple to clarify.

    Post # 4
    2685 posts
    Sugar bee

    If the youngest is 16, I think they meant to include everyone.  16 is a little young for an adult event, but certainly mature enough to handle themselves at a reception with other family members.  It sounds like the couple’s goal was more to keep the really little kids out.  An easy way to fix this error would have been to put “Seats reserved: 5” (or whatever number they intended to invite) on the RSVP to give a better idea about who’s allowed to come.

    Post # 5
    2616 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    everyone but the 16 year old… i dont know…. i would be calling and finding out who they ment to invite that is confusing

    Post # 6
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    That was a poorly worded invitation, but I’d assume evryone was invited.

    Post # 7
    3230 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would assume that all 5 Smiths are invited since there are no “children” in their family anymore. Very poorly worded though if they meant “Over 21 only.”

    Edit: And then this bride is probably going to come her and post, “OMG! It says adult only and they want to bring their 16 year old!!!!”


    Post # 8
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    That is an incredibly ambiguous invitation!  How weird!  I would guess all 5 people are included, but I would personally contact the Maid/Matron of Honor or parents of the bride or groom (depending on which family they know) to clarify.  The bride in this situation should have specified “adults only” with a concrete age limit and probably should have sent an individual invitation to the 23 year old.  I know there are a lot of stresses when wedding planning, but it always bugs me when brides do not pay attention to these sorts of details.  Your biggest role after being the future wife of your husband is being a good hostess to your guests.

    Post # 9
    11233 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MRSsrm85:  This.

    “and family” denotes EVERYONE is invited. However, if the 23 year old lives on his/her own, they should get their own invitation. 

    Post # 10
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @charmed59:  I have no idea.  I think Mrs. Smith needs to call the bride to clarify.  What a confusing invitation!


    Post # 11
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would assume all 5 are invited.

    But, maybe call to clarify? The invitation is poorly worded and the 23 year old definately should have gotten his own invitation.

    Post # 12
    1274 posts
    Bumble bee

    & Family to me means everyone. 

    Perhaps the bride & groom are inviting a bunch of people with younger children and it’s meant more for them. Still though I would ask before I responded with “yes, I’m bringing all of my kids”. 

    Ditto to the 23 year old who should’ve got a separate invite. 

    Post # 13
    38 posts
    • Wedding: June 2013

    A sixteen year old is not really a child. I was a married  woman at 16 running my own home. I would have been offended if I was excluded for a wedding . I think they mean younger disruptive kids.

    Post # 14
    670 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would say 16 is not a child, in fact for our wedding for kids plates children must be 12 and under, so I would say anyone under 12 may be considered a child.

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