(Closed) Adult Reception?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is: No, it is not improper of you to make a “No kids” rule across the board.  Many people have adult only receptions nowadays!  The kids who will be at the reception are all in the wedding party.  Also perfectly acceptable.  You drew a line, and that line is whoever is in the ceremony can be at the reception.  That is a reasonable rule.  People don’t have the right to complain about those kids being at the reception.

The bad news: Etiquette would indicate that for Out of Town guests with children, you should host a babysitter for their children during the reception.  By not offering that to them, you aren’t really giving them a choice to attend the reception at all.  But all the local guests should not expect you to pay for babysitters.  They should provide their own.

Post # 4
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We have offered to supply childcare for the Out of Town guests children and have yet to have anyone take us up on it. Most have RSVP’d one parent in attendance (eg: my cousin will be coming, her husband and daughter will not.) While it would be lovely to have them both in attendance, I know this is not always possible, and this is what they are comfortable with, be it financially or just the comfort level of leaving their child with someone they don’t personally know. 

You may be surprised how few people take you up on the babysitting offer, so don’t fret yet. 

Post # 6
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t know if we were in the wrong etiquette wise or not but we didn’t have a babysitter for out of town guests with children.  They just left their kids at home with family.

Post # 7
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

You’re not being unreasonable for excluding all children except for those in the bridal party. And I don’t believe you are under any obligation to provide child care for your in-town guests. I think it’s a personal choice for you and your Fiance to weigh the cost of providing child care vs the chance that these people will decline. If you’re okay with them not attending the wedding, I wouldn’t worry about it.

I know it’s not following ettiquete to talk about gifts, but if you really want the people who are complaining to come, you could maybe suggest that they get a babysitter for their child and attend your wedding as their wedding gift to you. IMO it’s not any worse than harassing the bride and groom about their guest list 😉 Something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry, it’s just not in our budget to provide child care. I hope you know that we care about you very much and truly want you to celebrate with us. Our choice not to invite children was not meant to be an attack on you. Your presence at our wedding would be the most wonderful gift.’ Subtle but to the point?

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