Post # 1
A couple of questions for those of you who are having these:
1. Where do you cut off the age? Is 16 considered adult? 18? 21?
2. Are you allowing children to come to your ceremony? This seems like it might be more work than necessary if parents have to drop kids off after…
3. What have been your biggest issues with this?
4. Any hidden details I should be aware of?
Post # 3
@EvenAngelsFall: I dear! My cut off age was 16. I did not mind teens; I didn’t want toddlers and infants whose behavior is unpredictible.
They were not allowed at the ceremony. We put on our website “Due to the revereance of the ceremony and because the reception will last late into the evening, children under age 16 will not be accomidated at the ceremony and recpetion”. I actually got the wording from another Bee here
Months before our wedding, I had called my family memebers with small children and let them know that the wedding was adult only and I wanted them to have a fun night away from the kids with dancing and alcohol. I didn’t get any complaints. My family tends to leave their small children home for weddings and funerals.
A lot of Bees here caught flack for it. I’ve even read of people bringing their kids with no regard to the couple. I am mean enough that I would have a hostess inform them they had to leave. I had two who were ready to do just that.
The only issue we ran into is that my new SIL had come 15 hours with our 3 year old nephew and we ran out of money to get a Nanny for her. So she ended up bringing him to the wedding and reception. It caused some hurt feelings with my family but as she was from out of town there was nothing that could be done. If you have an adult wedding you really can’t make exceptions to the rule.
Even our flowergirls had to go home for the reception.
Post # 4
I am thinking about it. Simply because it really makes me cringe to have a crying child at a ceremony. However I will be providing childcare for all children who end up coming to the wedding.
Post # 5
We didnt have kids and our cut off was 18. I simply put adutl only on the invites and I addressed them only to the adults. I did not have any problems with anyone complaining. Some told me they had a great time with their SO at the wedding because the kids were with the sitter.
It was also much cheaper and better for our budget. I am hispanic and if everyone brought their kids, it would have doubled my budget.
Post # 6
Our cutoff was 13 – we suggested clearly on our website and through word of mouth that a cocktail party wedding was not appropriate for anyone 12 and under. And we provided offsite babysitting for children too young to be left with family for the weekend (although that ended up being used only by the parents of 2 infants).
I’ve heard some horror stories about people bringing their infants and toddlers despite requests to the contrary (who then screamed throughout the wedding), so we were clear that we weren’t going to take responsibility for children who got wine spilled on them. We had a handful of cousins who elected to not come because they couldn’t bear to leave their older children with family for a two day trip (whatever), but we were so busy and were having so much fun that we barely noticed their absence.
Post # 7
The official wedding my youngest will be 20. I believe 18 is a young adult. I will not have small children or children period. My issues are possible crying during the ceremony and running around at the reception. I hate to say it but some parents feel that they are at a party and that means their children can run around, yell, etc. I think it is rude to have children running into the guests legs and making them feel uncomfortable or not enjoying themselves. I have attended several weddings and I felt frustrated with them jumping off chairs, running, yelling, and getting on my DAMN nerves.
Post # 8
@ProfessorGirl: +1!!! I hear you….
Post # 9
We didn’t have a cutoff because we didn’t invite the offspring of our friends – period – regardless of their ages. If am not personally friends with their children, they were not invited whether they were 5 or 25.
Post # 10
There wasn’t an age cut off really, it was just more of a people cut off. Our youngest will be 14 (I didn’t want to invite her but my mom did it without telling me). After that everyone else is 18+ Fiance has tons of cousins ranging from babies to adults (I only have a few) so he broke it up by who he is closest to. I invited all my cousins because there’s only 7 of them.
I really could care less if people don’t like that there is someone there younger than their kid that didn’t get invited. We can’t invite everyone! The only young chidlren will be the Flower Girl and Ring Bearer and they will have a babysitter in case they start getting tired (or acting up!)
We also will have babysitters on site in a suite for anyone who doesnt want to or cant leave their little ones at home. Both our ceremony and reception are in this hotel so no one can reasonably have an issue with it – their kid will be right upstairs, they can check on them in a heartbeat!
Post # 12
@EvenAngelsFall: 18 and under is a kid for us. Kids and uninvited guests can come to our ceremony because we have the room. Reception is invite only. Only issue is if kids are to young they can cause issue at ceremony. We only have 1 that we are worried about but he is family. If you do this you need to stick to your guns on it. People will assume and stuff. be ready to call so and so and let them know that their cherub isnt invited.
Post # 13
I am having a kinda adult only reception. My guest count totals 134, 15 are kids ranging from 2 months old to 17. I wanted my nieces and nephews there, and I offered our bridal party to bring their kids since they are being such a big part of our day. Only one of the people in our bridal party is bringing their kids, everyone else declined since they wanted adult party time! My fiance is allowing his one uncle and his two cousins from out of state to bring their children. We made our own invitations so it was very easy to modify our reply cards as needed most had the “Adult Entree Selections with a remark of Adult Reception Only” the other reply cards had “Adult Entree Selection Plus the Kid Selection” and I removed the “adult reception only” warning before printing. Also, to avoid someone replying back with a total of 5 when we were only inviting 2 from that household, we actuall put the following; “We have reserved 2 seats in your honor” Under that we put the check box for “Accepts with Pleasure” and Declines with Regret”. This way there is no confusion per household how many seats they are being offered, and we changed the “seat number” as needed before printing the replies. We both could care less if some people get upset when they show up at the ceremony and get their panties in a bunch because they see some kids there. We invited who we wanted there, and since our ceremony and reception are being held all at one venue there wasn’t the option to allow people to take their kids home after the ceremony since the cocktail starts right after the ceremony. I say do what you please, if people get upset let them. If they choose to not attend your wedding because of it thats their loss. 🙂