(Closed) Adult Ringbearer?

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Is it absurd to have an adult ringbearer?
    Yes. A ring bearer should be a younger boy. : (5 votes)
    15 %
    Yes. An adult ringbearer would seem silly and like a mockery. : (14 votes)
    41 %
    No--who says a ringbearer has to be a child? : (14 votes)
    41 %
    Other. Please explain. : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I don’t see why not. People are doing all sorts of “non traditional” things at their wedding. Some people have animals in their wedding party. I think an adult ring bearer is fine. Not all weddings have to fit in this little cookie cutter ideal of what a wedding should be.

    We’re having a little boy throw flower petals at our wedding. He and his sister are the “Flower Children”.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Honestly… I think it’s very weird.

    ETA: I think it’s more the “ringbearer” title that I find strange since that usually is given to a young boy or toddler. The actual job of bearing the rings seems fine for an adult.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think an adult ring bearer walking down the aisle after/before a flower girl would be odd. 

    However, I think having him as the ring keeper and doing a ring warming ceremony would be much less weird. So, during part of the ceremony before songs or readings or candle lighting, he can bring the rings to the front, a little ditty can be said about passing the rings around and wishing your best to the couple and ‘warming’ their symbol of commitment with your hearts, etc etc. I think if he’s not in the processional and is serving some sort of purpose, it’s much less weird.

    Post # 7
    Member
    849 posts
    Busy bee

    People have dogs for ringbearers, so I dont see why an adult man is so bad. Some guests would probably be like “what is that guy doing?” though.

    Post # 8
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee

    We had an adult ringbearer, the groom’s sister. She walked down the aisle escorting another relative (also an adult, not the flower girl). She gave the ring to the officiant at the appropriate time and that’s it.

    At another wedding the best man was also the ring bearer. He carried the ring in his pocket and again presented it at the right moment to the officiant.

    And, I think the word “mockery” might be a little strong *amused eyeroll goes here* in that it’s not like the institution of ringbearer has such seriousness and weight to it! Just have fun with it. Personalizing a wedding is always a good thing!

    Post # 9
    Member
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsKitchenQueen: Here and here are a couple WB links to the idea. Even having him do a special reading rather than a warming ceremony if the guests are too many would be a place of honor for him. We have a TON of guests, so maybe we’ll send them through the parents, grandparents, and bridal party only…we’ll have to see. Glad you like the idea though, it’s nice because you can really make it your own.

    Post # 10
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think asking one of the guys to be the “ring bearer” may make him feel inferior. I think that people automatically think “little boy” when this word is said, so if you go this route I wouldn’t give him that title or ask him in that way. Also, I probably wouldn’t make him walk down with the little flower girl because that might look awkward and make him feel weird.

    That being said, I think having him hold your rings and present them to you is not wierd at all if you want to include more people. I would just do it in a way that is more mature and not in the way it is “traditionally” done with small children. More so like how the best man would give the rings when they are asked for.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it my be inappropriate because- I thought the ringbearer was sort of an escort for the flower girl. 

    If the flower girl is a girl, it might be innapropriate to have her paired with a man.

    Post # 12
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I think if you go with the traditional ring bearer, walking down the aisle after a little girl. It will look weird and the guy will probably feel super uncomfortable. 

    In weddings without ring bearers, the best man often has the rings in his pocket and hands it over to the marriage officient. Maybe you can have that friend keep the rings in his pockets and walk about to the front and hand them over for the blessing of the rings.

    Post # 13
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @Butterbee: I wouldn’t want to do a job that toddlers and dogs do. Just my two cents 😛

    Post # 14
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    There was a girl on the Knot years ago who had an adult ring bearer; her wedding was incredibly beautiful and quirky and personal.  Unfortunately, she took her bio down, or I would link it for you.

    If you’re ok with it, and your FH’s friend is ok with it, I don’t see an issue. 

    The topic ‘Adult Ringbearer?’ is closed to new replies.

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