(Closed) Adults Only on invitation

posted 4 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
Member
3652 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

It’s seen as poor etiquette to state who is not invited to something, on either the invitation itself or the envelope. That said, it wouldn’t personally offend me to see it.

Post # 3
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Yes, it’s considered a faux pas to indicate who ISN’T invited on an invitation. If you want to have an adults only event you should specifically indicate the names of the people invited on the inner envelope, or put “__ of 2 attending” or “2 seats have been reserved in your honor” on the RSVP card. 

You may still have people who ignore that, in which case you’d need to contact them and say something like, “I apologize for the confusion, but the invitation was only meant for you and your spouse and we cannot accommodate additional guests. We understand that means you may not be able to join us, but please let us know either way.”

Post # 4
Member
951 posts
Busy bee

It might technically be an etiquette faux pas but….some traditions need to be broken. Like this one. I am 100% absolutely in support of putting “Adults Only” or some variant of that on the invitations if that is what the bride and groom wishes. Many people will bring their children in spite of what you say to them. It is best to be loud and clear that children will not be permitted in – or anywhere around – your wedding. I don’t find this “tacky” at all. Sometimes it is a necessity. 

Post # 5
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We did it. And we got exactly what we wanted. A kid free wedding.  

I also had an inside envelope that listed the names of who was invited. We weren’t taking any chances. 

Post # 6
Member
1786 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I don’t see anything wrong with it (and I’m a mother). Honestly, I think it’s better to be up front than complain later about people ignoring the names on the invitation or RSVP’ing for more than seats permitted. Some people state it on their websites, but few people actually look at those. I would rather it be stated clearly. Then again, I don’t really care much for traditional etiquette. 

Post # 7
Member
1786 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
anthonyswife :  we had it on our invites as well and don’t regret it. 

Post # 8
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
Lakeside003 :  I also wrote a little diddy about no guest photography during the ceremony. And our photos turned out beautiful. No one was leaning over in the aisle taking photos and there weren’t any big awkward screens in our photos. I had so many people compliment me on that. So many past brides were jealous because guests were too busy trying to take their own photos that they were constantly getting in the way of the professional photogs. 

I don’t have a problem with guest photography. But I have a problem with it when it ruins the photos that I paid a lot of money for. 

Post # 9
Member
3861 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
rosydelight :  100% agree that this etiquette rule needs to go away, because when you follow the rule of only those named on the invite are actually invited, many people don’t get it and write in extras. (because they don’t know the etiquette!!!) Then it’s on the bride or groom to call them and tell them only xx and xx are invited.

With so many other ‘rules’ being discarded, I can’t understand why one of the dumbest ones remains.

 

Post # 10
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Completely agree some rules need to be broken. In this case screw etiquette. I wish we’d put adult only on our invitations, seeing it on someone elses invite wouldn’t bother me one bit. Had it on the website, people ignored it or didn’t see it. Addressed invites by specific name, some acted like that wasn’t sufficient and then tried to negotiate bringing kids which I find very rude and inconsiderate. Its an invite not a summons, feel free to decline.

Post # 11
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

Pro “Adults Only” here! Just putting in my vote.

Post # 12
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m all for this. Because some people are either morons or just inconsiderate and will bring their children even if you’re only addressed it to the adults. 

Post # 13
Member
9914 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s poor etiquette to send an invitation that expressly indicates who is NOT invited.  An invitation is to let someone know they’re invited, not sent to tell people who isn’t included.  If someone misreads their invitation and responds for a child, the host should call them and explain the misunderstanding.  It’s very simple and people make it much more complicated than it should be.

Post # 14
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

Poor etiquette or not, ours said “we respectfully request that this remain an adult only celebration” 

Post # 15
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

We had a child-free wedding, and started by circulating via word-of-mouth well in advance that it would be adults only. We then directed the envelope to the exact people invited (Mr C Bass and Ms B Waldorf), and wrote on the RSVP “2 seats have been reserved in your honour” kind of thing. 

Nobody brought kids, nobody even asked. Parents were excited to have a child-free evening, and my cousin made it a full CF weekend.

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