Post # 1
So, here’s the deal. My FI’s cousin and wife have 3 kids, maybe 3 and 5-6 years in age. They are from out of town. I see on the hotel block list that they have already reserved a hotel room. But, I still haven’t received their RSVP yet. After talking with one of FI’s other cousins last week, the parents are in the process of trying to find a baby-sitter. What happens if they can’t find a baby-sitter? Do I just make them decline the invite or should I allow the kids to come? My venue has children’s meals, so I won’t be paying for a full price meal for them.
I wish I knew a baby-sitter here in Ohio. I don’t have kids and all my friends will be at the wedding. Hmm…
If I do allow them, will they behave? If you had kids at your reception, how did it go? Also, should alcohol and kids be mixed?
Post # 3
have you considered checking with the hotel concierge regarding child care? most hotels offer this service for their guests. (extra $$ of course). or do any of your collegues have a daughter, neighbour, etc to babysit these children in the hotel room?
Post # 4
there is also a great website called care.com i will be getting a child care provider from them as my MOH has a autistic son and 2-3 other guests have children who will need care on the wedding day. you can also se the price you would like to pay and look into their background.
Post # 5
If you have told others that no kids are allowed then no, you should not allow them to attend. Unfortunatley, I feel this leads to hurt feelings, potential arguments, and is pretty unfair.
That being said, we opted to only allow family members who are children (cousins, neices and nephews). ALL out family kids are able to come (5 total) NONE of our friend’s children are invited (that would be almost 30 kids unde the age of 10!) none of our friends have asked if a kid can come, but if they are struggling, we will tell them we prefer it if children stay home, but understnad they are having difficulty. I am nervous though because if we say this to one, we have to say it to ALL who are struggling, KWIM?
Post # 6
Care.com is a great site as a PP posted. I used them and found a great sitter-turned-friend! She hasn’t sat for me in over a year and we still get together with our kids every other week or so 🙂
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I said no, but not necessarily because kids shouldn’t be in a place where alcohol is served… it’s more like it’s unfair to the rest of your guests who are not bringing their kids, and also kids that young are (usually) energetic and get bored easily and there is the potential they will misbehave.
Post # 8
I would say no even though it might suck if they can’t make it…if you make one exception then everyone else is going to want to bring their kids too.
Post # 9
It’s typically okay to make an exception for OOT children. Most parents won’t travel without their kids and probably wouldn’t be comfortable with a stranger watching them so they can attend the wedding. I doubt any guests would have much of an issue with it as long as they know the reason the exception was made. As for the kids behaving, you’d know better than we would. Some children are great and others are terrors.
Post # 10
I also wanted to add that it is fine, in my opinion, to have children atttend weddings where alcohol is served. As a parent, I understand alcohol will be there and it is my responsibility to keep an eye on my child/ren and leave with them if the party is getting out of hand or inappropriate. Enjoy your wedding, and have fun!
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Your hotel should be able to recommend a sitter who is licensed and insured.
Post # 12
Just another perspective to consider. I understand the PPs making suggestions for finding childcare, and I think that can be a good option for some people. However, we throw lots of parties that include out of town guests, and I know for a fact that my friends would never agree to leave their children with a babysitter they did not know personally. So, make sure you communicate carefully with your FI’s cousin if you decide to go that route. Good luck!
I would also add that I think it is fine to have kids at a reception with alcohol. Just make sure the parents in question fully understand that alcohol will be served, so that they can make a decision about their children.
Post # 13
The kids are my fiance’s first cousins’ kids…which would make them his second cousins?? Any other kids would be friends’ kids or FI’s cousin’s grandkids, which are too far down the family line to be considered “family”, I would think. Does that change anyone’s answer?
Post # 14
No, you shoudn’t allow them to come, but not because a wedding is no place for children. The reason is because you can’t make exceptions for some people and not others. They understand they need to find a babysitter. If they can’t find one, they will have to decline.
Post # 15
@Beckster329: I completely agree. I am having an adult only reception. The only children allowed are my 2 flower girls. If you make an acception for a few people the others will be offended. I would be.
Post # 16
The only children that should have an exception are those children of the bride and groom’s siblings as they are immediate family.