Adults Only Wedding… and now I'm upset

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Kind of harsh of them to just not attend. I don’t see many weddings as kid friendly, and most parents look forward to a night out. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this 🙁 I hope a compromise or something can be worked out so you can have your family there. Try not to worry yourself too much *hugs*

Post # 4
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I can understand you being upset. We’ve decided on an adult only reception too however we’ve decided to deal with each family on a per case basis. If someone expresses that they absolutely can’t come without their child we are willing to evaluate the situation. I know this is not the popular way of thinking and could cause some greif but so be it, everyone will find SOMETHING to complain about.

Maybe consider letting them bring their child? 12 years old really isn’t that young and it’s your day, you really shouldn’t have to answer to anyone.

Post # 5
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Most weddings I’ve attended that are not “kid friendly” allow kids 12+….maybe they are offended that their borderline adult child is not considered old enough to attend? Or maybe they have another reason altogether for not attending?

Post # 6
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We have decided on “No children under 16 after 8pm” (my 10 year old daughter may be the sole exception, but if we can make other plans for her I will jump on it).

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@les105:  Since when is a 12 year old a borderline adult? 

Post # 9
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@star_dust:  Like I said, other adult only affairs I’ve been to have allowed 12 year olds. Obviously, it depends on the party, but maybe this parent views their 12 year old as mature enough to attend a wedding. I guess I should’ve phrased it better, as a 12 year old is not really an adult, although “adult only” weddings usually require a subjective call as far as who qualifies to attend.

ETA: I still think that’s a crappy reason not to attend. Most 12 year olds are old enough to be left home alone for a few hours.

Post # 10
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That does suck, but you were right to stick to your guns.  I’m having a no children under 10 wedding and have already have 1 person not understand and tell me they’re bringing their baby.  I put Fiance in charge of that.  

Post # 11
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

that’s pretty harsh of them not to come just from that. surely any normal person could understand your predicament. i feel bad for you but honestly, don’t worry, or try not to. you are doing the best you can. xo.

Post # 12
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Think of it this way….I’ve told a number of people the only children invited to our reception will be Fi’s neices/nephews (who will have sitters on stand by) and my 5 first cousins (one of whom is a godson) under 10.  I’ve received MULTIPLE times, “thank goodness, the kids always just take over receptions and adults don’t want to dance.”  So in other words….your one or two family members may be a little upset, but if your guests are anything like mine, a number of them will be excited and relieved. 🙂  You just can’t please everyone unfortunately.

Post # 13
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@les105:  I understand. We did have 12 year olds at my wedding. 

If you have your family’s support on this one OP then I would stand your ground UNLESS their not attending is really hurting you to the point that you’d like to reconsider.

I think it’s a little…what is it? manipulative? passive aggressive?…of them to do this. I think a 12 year old is way old enough to occupy themselves for one night (even with a babysitter) while mom and dad go out to a wedding. Do they take her with them on date nights too?

Post # 14
Member
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I don’t really see what the big deal is.  When you choose to have a child free wedding, you go into it knowint you’ll likely ruffle some feathers.  Hang around The Bee long enough and you’ll see how many bees with child free weddings have this problem.  I would think that this is something that you would have expected. Its just the nature of the beast I suppose. . . 

As far as people not attending because their kids aren’t welcome, well I don’t really get that either, but then again I’m not a parent.

Post # 15
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You are definitely not in the wrong here, driving distance? Really? They can’t just return the dress and send her to a friends house to play for the evening?

Post # 16
Member
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you want a kid-free wedding, then that’s your call.

My cousin had a kid-free wedding, and said she was having it 18+, no exceptions.  The only person excluded by that was my then 17 year old brother.  My parnts said they would not attend, mostly because of 30 cousins, he was the only one not invited.  In that case, I think the rule was ridiculous.  In your case, it’s totally fair. 

It’s unfortunate your family members can’t recognize it’s your day and they want to act like this.  I’m sure other people will understand and this will be the only issue.

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