Post # 1
Me and my FH want an adults only wedding, and when we decide on something we’re sticking to our guns about it. The youngest people attending our wedding is my sister, my maid of honor, who will be 19 and her boyfriend 21, my brother 16 who will get a +1 as I feel it is unfair that he not be able to bring someone he can interact with. Also, my parents +1 is a single mom whose daughter is my sisters best friend, and my single aunt whose daughter is my brothers age. There will be NO children under 16 attending even though I have many other cousins between 4-15.
The only thing is that my only bridesmaid is currently pregnant, baby is due in July and our wedding is in December and the baby will be 4-5 months old. Is it rude/inconsiderate of us to not allow her to bring her newborn? I don’t want to tell everyone else that they can’t bring their children yet I make one exception? We really don’t want any young kids at the wedding, I just don’t want to sound like a…brat…when I tell my bridesmaid this. How do I go about it?
Post # 3
I too am having an Adult Reception. Do you not want kids there because of them running around? A 5 month old can’t get into to much trouble. My issues are the cost of food and there is a very deep pool and I’m very concern with a child wandering off and falling in.
You said she is your only bridesmaid so I’m assuming someone is going to be bringing and watching the baby? Honestly so far everyone I told hasn’t had a problem with it and most people told me they weren’t going to bring their kids any way and they only take their kids places like that to use them as an excuse to leave early.
Post # 4
I am all for adult only receptions- even though mine will not be (we have a 4yr old). I think your bridesmaid will understand, especially of this is something you have mentioned to her just in normal wedding chat. At 5 months, a baby can be left with another family members for a few hours (she may even enjoy one of her first night’s off as a mommy!) without much worry. If she has to bring the baby, I don’t see it as a problem (won’t cost to feed or need a seat-maybe a highchair and won’t be running around underfoot).
Post # 5
I am having a semi adults only reception. I have an 8 year old son, and my fh family consists of his father 2 sisters and 4 nieces. It is a must that his nieces come. So it will only be a few children at our wedding. They are 8 and up and do not give us any problems. I do not think a newborn would be a problem.
Post # 6
2 of my bridesmaids recently had babies and they realize that there is no way they would be able to do their duties AND have their newborns there! They are getting family to look after them for the time at my wedding. Of course if they insisted I would explain why I would prefer that they didn’t, but would allow them to if they thought it was a must.
Post # 7
I would suggest getting a reputible baby sitter; perhaps your venue has some nearby attached room where the baby can be baby sat. I would not invite a baby to an adults only reception, the other guests will not appreciate that they followed your wishes and someone else brought a baby.
Post # 8
I would not allow the baby. We have the same thing happening at our wedding, only the youngest is 18 (and even that was a big deal!)
Post # 9
@mrsjjohnson2b: A 5 month old can’t get into to much trouble.
No, it probably won’t wander around but it could SCREAM all during the ceremony, speeches, anything quiet.
OP, I’m doing an adults only wedding too. Infants are tough because you can’t assume parents will be able to leave their new baby with someone other than them. Maybe grandparents can babysit? At least they could leave him/her with family then.
Post # 10
Hi almost-date twin, lol! We’re having adults only except for the flower girl, who won’t be attending the reception anyway. I have a Bridesmaid or Best Man who must have the same due date as yours! Her baby will be about 5mo old at the time of the wedding, and on top of that, it’ll be a Destination Wedding. I just asked if she would be okay having the child babysat by family or a caregiver, and she readily offered up to leave her child with either family or leave her husband back at home with the baby! I think she’s anticipating needing some girl-time and a couple glasses of wine by then =o)
Post # 11
I had a baby at my wedding and it was a disaster, as I expected it would be. Do not do it. Weddings are not comfortable places, the baby will cry, the bridesmaid will not be able to perform her duties or enjoy herself and it will cause major tension if not tears in your friendship and sanity.
Post # 12
I wish I could have an adult only reception 🙁
Post # 13
In My Humble Opinion, newborns, especially if they are nursing, and the parents have to travel to the wedding, deserve an exception. Other parents will almost certainly understand. If the father of the baby will also be at the wedding, just ask your Maid/Matron of Honor if dad can take the baby out of the ceremony if baby starts to cry.
But the logistics of leaving a nursing baby for more than a few hours are complicated enough as to warrant the exception. Asking her not to bring the baby may mean she can’t come.
See this recent Carolyn Hax column for more on this issue: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-newborn-wedding-crasher/2012/01/01/gIQAdthnEQ_story.html
Post # 14
I think she would understand…considering that would have to spend her time worrying/tending to her newborn. I’ve never been to a wedding with an infant (maybe 4 years old at the youngest) so that would be a new experience for me. Talk to her and see how she feels about it maybe 🙂 I don’t think it would be offensive at all.
Post # 15
You should leave it up to her discretion. If the baby is still breastfeeding it can only be away from its mother for so long. You are of course within your rights to have an adults only reception, but newborns are often the exception to that.
My guess is that the husband will hold the baby during the ceremony, and will be a responsible parent and bring the baby outside if it starts to cry.
If she has family close to where the wedding will be, she might be able to leave it with them, but that is up to her to decide. Unless she specifically says “jazzNbee, could you recommend good local babysitters?” stay out of any child care conversation.