Post # 1
I have only met my Future Mother-In-Law twice, as she lives very far away. The second time we met, and we were discussing the upcoming wedding, I mentioned that it would be an adults- only (18+) wedding. She insisted that her niece and nephew’s kids had to be invited (they are around 9, 11, 13). My parents mentioned that their niece and nephew’s kids would not be invited, so it would be unfair to invite some and not others. I said that I would prefer to just have a rule that it was 18+. A fight among my Future Mother-In-Law and my family ensued and she stormed out, and the issue was never resolved. Now, months later, she has sent us the list of guests and addresses, which of course list those kids. I think the kids are nice, but I really don’t want any kids at the wedding, and think it’s unfair to invite some and not others. What should I do? I really don’t want to cause another argument with my Future Mother-In-Law, but this is the one thing I’m really adamant about regarding the wedding. I’m willing to offer babysitting for the kids, but I’m 99% that won’t be enough for her. I also put 18+ on the wedding website, but I’m sure none of them will check it. Help!
Post # 3
It’s your wedding. You don’t have to invite kids. I think it’s great that you’d offer babysitting for the kids and that should be enough for your Future Mother-In-Law.
I am VERY adamant about not wanting children at my wedding but we’ll see how that news unfolds with my family after we’ve had that discussion. But we have an issue with space. if everyone brought their kids, and some people on FH’s side have 10 kids, people would have to eat outside in their cars because we have such limited seating.
Post # 4
It’s really your day and within reason, you really should be able to do what you please. I sympathize with you and understand that it wouldn’t be fair to invite the children on one side but not on the other. I would tell my Future Mother-In-Law that if she wants those children at the wedding so badly, she can go ahead and shoulder the expense to have them there as well as the children on your side of the family – that’s basically what it would cost you to appease both families and if that’s an expense she’s willing to incur then so be it.
Post # 5
Hey I totallly feel for you; but I think you know what you need to do since you told us that this is the ONE thing that you are ADAMANT about. It’s completely reasonable, you’re not making a crazy request. Your only choice here is whether or not to provide babysitting, not whether or not to invite them.
At some point FMIL’s going to have to realize she doesn’t run your guys’ lives so it might as well start now with your completely reasonable and socially acceptable plan.
Thank her for taking the time to get you a guest list and then feel free to SLASH it. haha
Seriously. Stay strong. 🙂
Post # 6
I am having one as well.. .I only heard someone’s mouth once or twice. I am expecting things to go smoothly. I will have a guard downstairs keeping people out who aren’t on the list.
Post # 7
yeah, i want a “no kids” wedding also. i just dont want to come across as rude. ihavent brought it up with either side of the family yet, as wedding planning is in early stages. we have booked a full open bar for the reception and i feel like if people bring their kids they wont stay as long once the kids get cranky and want to go home. on the other hand, will people be leaving at 930 because “the babysitter needs to go home”. its tough, but im going to stick to my word on this one
Post # 8
At my venue, one of the locations is 18+ only. For those of you who only want adults that’s one way to ensure no kids show up (but you’re also eliminating any older teenagers as well).
Post # 9
If your Fiance agrees with you than have him talk to his mom. He should deal with her, not you.