Post # 31
My major advantages are having a quiet house and being able to move at a leisurely pace. I know that makes me sound boring but I work a very stressful job and I love being able to come home to quiet and peace and know that the evening is all mine to do whatever. (My husband works 2nd shift) Sometimes that means going out to eat or to a barre class or just staying in with a book. I love being able to just do whatever on the weekends with my husband. Sometimes we entertain at home or go hiking or go visit friends or family. We can decide last minute and just go,or not go, and just stay in all weekend eating take out and watching movies.All my family/friends with kids are constantly on the go and having to plan their weekends around their kids, and nights. I wouldn’t be able to move at that pace, or enjoy it if I did. And to be clear, I definitely don’t think my cfbc life is better than the parent life. It’s better for me but I know that some of my parent friends would be absolutely miserable with my life.
Post # 32
I’m CFnotBC but these threads are great!
I love: only taking less than a minute to get ready to go out,
going away (work permitting) whenever with no plans needed or help from family,
having a silent stress free bath or nap,
drinking and eating whatever I want whenever I want,
only making one dinner every night,
knowing the house is almost always silent (apart from cats, damn cats).
Ok, noise seems to be a huge factor!! Thankyou bee’s, this made me realise how happy my CF life actually is!!
Post # 33
Yes, and I didn’t get diagnosed with my most serious condition until after getting married. DH and I were fence sitters for quite a while and were like 90% certain we were CFBC before we got married.
I really didn’t anticipate how much I would love having nephews, but it’s also funny how much they confirm that not having kids is the right decision for us.
I’ve heard from other people with the same condition but who aren’t severely affected and what they have gone through – being hospitalized for weeks after birth as that’s such a big trigger factor plus their kids having PTSD from seeing their parents having medical emergencies, I’m glad it’s not something I have to worry about on top of this.
It’s a bit of a silly reason too, but there’s enough judgement about being a Stay-At-Home Wife (now I at least work casually, mostly from home, but couldn’t even do that for a while). I think dealing with being a Stay-At-Home Mom with the kids in daycare would be that much worse and if I had kids I think that would be a necesssity.
Post # 34
- Wedding: June 2007 - City, State
NOT CFBC, butttt…none of you will miss the epic tons of toys that will take over your life and your house and your car and your…life. Seriously, I have 3 kids…and there’s toys fucking everywhere. I purge them constantly and it’s like they multiply when I am not looking. I also just gave the piece of homemade toffee I was eating to my toddler because she was begging for it. Enjoy your freedom friends! LOL
Post # 35
- Wedding: June 2007 - City, State
I don’t know, that sounds pretty amazing LOL
Post # 36
True, I guess what I more mean is my dog’s behavioral issues. She’s well “trained” but despite all our efforts she enjoys her aggressive behavior to small children, dogs, trucks, skateboards, rollarblades, etc—
It’s nice to have the choice to be able to adjust our life style, rather than “rehome the dog or put baby in danger”
Post # 37
I have never thought of being CFBC as having advantages over people with children, especially given that everyone has different priorities for their own lives. For some, quiet might be a priority; other might hate an empty house. I think a title like the one in this post gives bad reputation to CFBC people as it makes it seem like they believe themselves to be better than people with kids.
I would use benefits to describe what most bees have listed so far.
Post # 38
A genuine advantage that I have as a CFBC woman is that my employers don’t have to worry that I will take time off from work for pregnancy related complications or maternity leave. That’s not a benefit but a huge advantage in the workforce. (I know employers can’t legally ask if you have kids, but I have no issue casually bringing it up in interviews. In my current position, I replaced someone who was no longer able to do the job because she had two kids.) If always being well rested and flexible with your schedule isn’t considered an advantage, I don’t know what is.
Post # 39
Guns and knives all over the house just chilling in their child free space. Weekend get aways can be planned as quickly as “hey the weather’s nice let’s give the cats triple food and go climbing” and of course being able to grab sushi without checking the bank account and figuring if I have enough after kid things. I do have two children but it’s cool if I’m a bad mother to them. They’ve never once garnered noise complaints from adjacent tables. The orange one does sometimes use the guns and knives to murder but has never been caught.
Post # 40
is there really a difference between saying advantages or benefits? I don’t see how this post remotely implies CFBC people think we are better than anyone else…
Post # 41
I’m pleased that this thread helped you!
Post # 42
The word “advantages” does not imply inherent superiority over different lifestyles.
“Advantages” in this context means “positive aspects of….”
I find your interpretation very strange. I don’t know how you came to that conclusion. I think your concerns are coming from insecurities or perhaps oversensitivity. I’m only saying this because no other Bee has a problem with the title.
I hope this thread will not continue to be derailed.
Post # 43
I can’t with you. You’re hilarious!
Post # 44
Unfortunately, it seems that certain Bees who have or want children cannot stop themselves from angrily interjecting. The threadjacking is obnoxious and uncalled for.
Thank you so much for stepping in.
Post # 45
Maybe the toys are getting it on at night and giving birth when you’re not looking.