- 7 years ago
Boyfriend or Best Friend likes to read Cosmo articles, etc. over my shoulder because he thinks they are interesting. Also we will be moving in together in June. So when I stumbled across an article on Marie Claire about cohabitation and engagement, I deliberately waited to read it until he was nearby so he would read it, too, particulary when they talk about the two types of premarital cohabitation:
“The happy kind: Prenuptial cohabitation is where you’ve already got a ring and a wedding date, or at least the shared understanding that marriage — to each other — is in your not-so-distant futures. There is no proof that cohabiting during a finite period hurts your chances of living happily ever after, and the benefits are obvious: half-price rent and cable, sex on demand, and time to see whether he’s evolved enough to put the seat down before you say “I do.”
The kind that leads to splitsville: Long-term living together with no clear idea of where the relationship is heading is the type to avoid. Why? You move in on an impulse (“My lease is up; can I move in with you?”), and it’s comfy. But once your CDs, finances, and families become entangled, breaking up can resemble a mini divorce. As a result, you may spend years in relationship limbo with someone who isn’t “The One.” Some couples marry out of guilt (aka, “We’ve been together so long, we might as well”) — only to divorce a short time later. The solution? Set a deadline (six months, a year), get engaged — or get moving.”
Obviously this reminded me of a conversation we had about a week or so ago regarding whether moving in together meant we would be getting engaged. (I used my mother as the person who asked about it… Seemed less confrontational to me). His answer at that time was “not in the next year”. I can’t remember if there was also a “definitely” in there. After he read the article he didn’t say anything about it.
According to the article, if you’re not already engaged or very close to being engaged when you move in, you should have some sort of timeline set up. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. But what Boyfriend or Best Friend gave me was actually the opposite of a timeline.
What are your thoughts? Should I try to talk to him about a more difinitive timeline (after I have given him some time to let the info sink in)? And how should I go about it? Or should i just leave it alone and be satisfied with my non-timeline?
If you want to read the entire article: http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/tips/move-in-together?click=main_sr